


Reload

by NigiyakanaAki



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But its intentional, Can i even do slow stories, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, Slow Build 2B/9S, Sort of? - Freeform, i guess?, post ending D
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-30 19:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12115956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NigiyakanaAki/pseuds/NigiyakanaAki
Summary: A save file that's a little bit kinder.Or: A world in which humanity is not extinct, Machine/Android life do not rule and everyone is happy. Or as happy as one can be when waking up in a different universe.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nier: Automata crushed me so here I am. Thanks.
> 
> Just to clarify, this isn't a Fix-It. I'm just messing up canon. This is set during and after Route D and obviously, there will be spoilers. Be warned.

He's impaled. The menace, A2, with 2B's sword–

9S lets out a choked sound when all he wants to do is scream. How dare she how dare she how dare she–

There's nothing in him anymore other than the desperate urge to stand and heal. His feet stumbled to stand but slip every single damn time on the bloodied ground. His hands claw for leverage but his body is growing weak. He sees her and his vision flickers and all he can see is the likeness of the two. A2 and 2B. But that isn't right. A2 is nothing like 2B– 2B is–

9S finally shrieks and grasps her. Her eyes look alive as ever– Androids' eyes aren't real– but he sees the way they stare off into the distance without truly focusing and he knows she's gone. His fingers dig into her fake skin and he wants to tear it all off.

How dare she how dare she how dare she–

9S crumples like paper and he's gone.

\---

He isn't called by Adam to join their ark. The girls in red aren't blaring in his failing vision.

He reaches out into his malfunctioning systems because there has to be something he can do. He's a scanner type. He can do this.

There is no way to return to the bunker, he knows this.

All the save points have been demolished, he knows this.

He's approaching the end. There aren't any save files that could make all this better. So 9S stops. The virus is spreading and spreading. He can feel it corrupt his functions and oddly, he's at peace.

Maybe he'll see 2B.

\---

He doesn't.

He doesn't because he wakes up again and he isn't supposed to. The situation didn't hit him at first, all that made sense to him was that he was alive _and that wasn't fair–_

9S honestly wants to laugh but he can't muster the strength to erupt in laughter. So instead, 9S grieves because he's alive and that isn't _right._ Despair clings to his bones and he is hollow. He curls up into a ball and sinks deeper into the bed's sheets–

Wait.

9S bolts away from the bed like it burnt him. His breathing is increasing in speed. His eyes scan the room he's in and it's something he's never seen before. Posters, clothes everywhere, a... computer? Was that a computer? One of those ancient ones from the humans' times–

Dread. Utter dread sinks heavy in his stomach and 9S feels like throwing up. He collapses onto his knees, shell-shocked. No– no- no- What on earth did he do to deserve this–

He inhales. Wait. Stop. It can't be. There is no logical way for him to be where he thinks he is. Right. This... This could be a simulation. A trick. An illusion.

9S lets out a hysterical chuckle. Right, this is a simulation. The pods could've done something. He's inside his coding and has to run a simulation for maintenance. He's currently in his information data where his knowledge of human civilization is.

Yes. So now all he has to do is do the basic procedures to end this. He's done this plenty times before. Just switch modes to look through his databases in search of any leftover viruses and–

9S can't switch modes. He can't open menus. He can't go through his coding.

Why?

Panic is starting to suffocate him. "Pod 153!" He shouts, "Status report!" Perhaps there was a malfunction. It wouldn't be surprising considering the fact that there could be a virus roaming in his systems.

Silence.

"Pod 153!" His voice cracked– his voice isn't supposed to crack, there is no possible way for his voice to crack since he is not programmed for it– An error due to the virus? 9S knows that isn't the case. His voice box doesn't feel like it's malfunctioning. It was a simple bump in his vocal systems– which shouldn't be possible– so if it was the virus breaking down his vocal systems then it would have done a lot more damage than a simple crack.

9S remembers an old ritual humans used to do. They would pinch themselves which would somehow determine whether the situation they were in was real or not by feeling pain. 9S pinches himself and pain travel through his sensors and into his brain circuit. He laughs quietly. His Android body wouldn't be able to sense such minor damage like pinching. 9S is extremely knowledgeable– it is in his coding to be so– so 9S knows for a fact that the skin he felt was much more malleable- much softer than his artificial skin was.

9S wraps his arms around his legs and rocks back and forth. He isn't dreaming– Androids can't dream– meaning that everything around him is 100% real. No no no no– He can't– This can't be–

He stands once again, rampaging through the room. There has to be something in here that could prove him wrong because he can't be human. It was impossible. He opens a drawer and finds a pair of scissors.

scissorsˈsɪzəz _/noun_

an instrument used for cutting cloth, paper, and other material, consisting of two blades laid one on top of the other and fastened in the middle so as to allow them to be opened and closed by a thumb and finger inserted through rings on the end of their handles.

Yes. Yes. He knows. Humans used them. Humans were also so incredibly fragile that even such a small item could damage them. 9S picks it up. He feels no fear. Old curiosity seeps into his bones like it always does. He's curious, he's always been. Humans were long dead before they created his model. Before they created him. What were humans like when they were injured? They bled, 9S' mind supplied. They bled but 9S never had the chance to observe it up close and now he will be able to.

Assuming he was inhabiting a human body, that is. He lifts the blade and–

"Nines? Hey–" 9S whips around, heart beating out of control. He looks up to see a girl, she was slightly taller than he was and had short blonde hair. 9S couldn't believe what he was seeing. Apparently, she couldn't either. "Nines– what-what are you doing?"

His eyes fall on the scissors on his hands that were aimed for his finger. He was going to make a small cut, nothing major. He's fought in a war, he can handle a cut. He shrugs in what he hopes looks casual.

How was he supposed to act? The girl was– is Operator 21O. She looked like her, albeit a lot younger and less stern. Speaking of appearances, he doesn't even know what he looks like. Operator 21O shakes her head but the concerned expression doesn't leave her face. "Nines?" That was another thing that bewildered him. She was calling him Nines!

"Uh, Operator 21O, can you please–"

She frowns, "What are you talking about, Nines? What's an Operator 21O?"

9S feels cold. "Um. Sorry, I was, uh," His eyes scanned the room once more. There had to be something he could use. He spots a book on the ground. In haste, he picks it up and waves it slightly. "I– I was reading! I kinda got too into it."

Operator 21O– No. That wasn't her. Operator 21O died by the hands of–

The girl in front of him sighs, reacting as if such an occurrence was normal. Perhaps it was, 9S didn't know. "Focus on reality, please." Instinctively, 9S assumed she was going to say 'Focus on the mission.' He felt suddenly lonely.

The way she said that was unimpressed and slightly exasperated with a hint of fondness. It reminded him too much of Operator 21O.

"I came to say that we're all waiting for you downstairs," She says and 9S feels guilty despite not knowing who she was, "Let's go and eat breakfast."

He nodded and followed her lead. As they walked, 9S inspected his surroundings and was being bombarded by all sort of information. Wooden floorboards and wooden walls, homey pictures, and warm carpets. He was in a house! So this was human civilization. 9S could feel his hands itch to tinker and inspect even more.

They reach the end of the staircase and enters what looks like a dining room. On the main table, plenty of breakfast foods are laid out. 9S' stomach quietly growls and he blinks at the feeling. 9S searches through his multitudes of information and comes to a reasonable conclusion: He was feeling hunger.

9S looks around. His gaze lands on a mirror. His eyes widen. He looks like he usually does– white hair, light blue eyes, however, he looks significantly younger. While his model was possibly inspired by boys around the ages of 14-16, his current body looked like a child. Perhaps around 8 years of age? He quickly looks over the Operator 21O-lookalike. She looks like 15.

If he didn't like how things were from the start then he definitely didn't like it now.

\---

Time flies and 9S learns more and more. As the days continue, he finds it harder to deny the fact that he is alive and _human._ It shouldn't be possible, so every single day, 9S always tries to restart his systems from whatever malfunction he is currently going through. It never works.

He finds out about his current life. He's adopted, apparently. Which makes sense, seeing as his _Mother_ and _Father_ look nothing like him. _Mother_ and _Father_ share physical traits with the Operator 21O-lookalike, whose name is Ventuna.

Ventuna. Based off the word Ventuno, which is Italian for twenty-one. 9S thought it was fitting for the Operator 21O-lookalike. 9S didn't like though. He'd rather be dead than live a life like this.

At night, 9S curls up in his bed and thinks back. Meeting 2B, fighting beside 2B, 2B dying and A2–

The rage inside him burns.

\---

He's grateful he stayed relatively the same. He's the only solid reminder that all he went through was real. 2B was real. She lived by his side and fought tooth and nail to remain to live. Although, looking back, the effort seems useless. She was real but she is no longer with him.

He couldn't even take vengeance.

It was all useless.

\---

It occurred to him at one point that his _Family_ is proud of him. He could see it without them having to say a word. Analyzing and observing the humans around him had satisfied his daily hunger for knowledge.

(9S wanted to show 2B this world. He wanted to share with her all that he's learned. 2B wasn't as curious as he is, but he knows she would have humor him at least.  
The thought of 2B makes him ache.)

_Mother_ and _Father_ were constantly awed by his intelligence and supported his desire for even more information. 9S remembers them looking at each other with bright smiles. 9S wants to say that he understands why, but he doesn't. He has time. He'll find out. And perhaps he will be able to find a way to return back to where he belongs. Wherever dead Androids go.

Operator 21O-lookalike would blink and then ask questions. He could relate to that. Speaking of the Operator 21O-lookalike, as days go by, 9S notices and notices the differences piling on top of each other between Operator 21O and Ventuna. A part of him hates Ventuna for having a family- like what Operator 21O wanted. He wants to hate the fact that she was happy and carefree while Operator 21O had to follow commands and be serious. But Ventuna wasn't bad- that was just 9S being terrible. She was a funny person and great company. And at times she resembled Operator 21O so much that 9S often has to excuse himself just so he can regain his composure.

"Hey, Nines!" Ventuna laughs, catching his attention. Held in her hands are rusted, mechanical parts. His stomach twists at how much they resemble the Machines' broken parts. "What do you think we can do with these?"

9S blinks. "Where did you even find that?"

Ventuna gestures something vague. "Eh, someplace." At his suspicious look, she shrugs. "They were just around the back of the house."

9S hums. His eyes scan the parts, interest building up. Ventuna giggles, causing 9S to raise an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"I know that look in your eyes." She says, smug. "I know you can do something with this."

9S is a programmer- a scanner. He isn't a mechanic type, but he does have some basic knowledge. "Perhaps." He says instead. He stares, ideas forming in his head. The technology at his resources is nothing compared to the tech where he is from. It was slightly annoying how undeveloped their science was- he wasn't used to it. However, there may be something he could create. Glancing up, 9S quirks an eyebrow. "Do you have anything in mind?" There's no way Ventuna showed him this for no apparent reason.

She shrugs but her body language makes it obvious that she does have an ulterior motive. Human bodies show much more than Androids' do. 9S doesn't know yet whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. Finally, she smiles. It's a cheeky smile that 9S finds foreign-looking on her face. Perhaps it's because he's only used to being a stern look on Operator 21O's features.

"Let's create communication devices!"

9S didn't understand. "We already have communication devices; they're called cell phones."

When Ventuna rolls her eyes like he's missing a point, 9S oddly feels like their roles are reversed. Usually, any other Android from Yorha would be acting like he was and 9S would be like Ventuna. Did 2B feel the same confusion when conversing with him? An anchor of regret sinks deep in his stomach. It... scared him to think that 2B was simply annoyed and confused with his babbling.

"No, silly! Comms for us!"

"I'm pretty sure Mother and Father would-"

"Not phones!" She's pouting now and that's even weirder to look at. " _Our_ own devices to use. Only for us!"

Oh. "Oh." 9S blinks as the pieces finally come together. He's slightly embarrassed now. "Uh, yeah, s-sure. Why not?" He shrugs, attempting to look casual. "Why would you want that though?"

Ventuna beams and it's full of innocence and _light._ 9S can't believe he's actually seeing this with his own eyes. Was there any _true_ innocence back in those wasted lands? "Wouldn't it be cool? We could be like secret agents or like spies!"

9S racks his brain for information. "Ah, I suppose?" He couldn't relate all that much to wanting to pretend to be secret agents or anything like spies. All 9S wanted was... the world like the one humans used to roam around. He wanted that _peace._ He got his wish. But he didn't want it like this. He wanted it with 2B with him.

Ventuna shoves the parts into his arms and 9S scrambles to make sure they don't fall. She grins. "Take your time. We only want the best equipment for our missions and haste will not assist in that!" She said, giggling in between sentences. Ventuna dashes back into the house. She's probably going to drink her favorite juice.

9S looks down at the junk in his hands. Too alike, he thinks, it looks too much like actual Machine parts. The Machines... the virus... A2.

He walks away, bringing the parts with him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 9S' friend group expands.

9S watched with fascination as his container– body– slowly changed. 9S' brain works differently from humans'. It was probably due to the fact that he was not human. So 9S could instantly spot the changes around him. Yesterday, his fingernails were freshly cut. The next day, 9S saw that it had grown by a millimeter.

What was extremely jarring was how oblivious humans were concerning such details. 9S found out by talking to Ventuna one morning. The girl had looked refreshed and seemed to glow slightly. Her eyes were brighter and the creases around her face looked smoother. 

"You look nice today." 9S had complimented her.

Ventuna raised an eyebrow before looking towards the closest mirror. Her expression turned into a frown. "Really? I don't think I look any different than usual." 

9S blinked. No, he definitely saw the difference. He decided to take a shot in the dark. "Did you sleep well last night?"

Ventuna smiled and brightened up her entire face. 9S' sharp eyes caught how much stronger it looked compared to the day before. "Yeah! How'd you know?"

9S shrugged. "Lucky guess, I suppose." He ended the conversation at that.

Since then, 9S had stored that information in his head. Humans weren't as precise as Androids were– or least, Scanner types. It... unsettled him. How were these creatures the same ones as the humans that created Yorha? Everything about humans seemed like polar opposites to how YorHa was like. 

Before 9S had found the truth (The humans were long dead. They weren't hiding in the moon and they were protecting _no one_ ), 9S had speculated and pondered what the humans up on the moon were like. Living, breathing creatures that wielded things that Androids could never hope to achieve. How did they function? What were their personalities like? How did they behave?

9S had thought that humans were _much more_ and _the same_ at the same time. Perhaps it was because of how often he spent around the ruins, but 9S had looked up to the humans. When he went exploring and found the remnants of what used to be _civilization_ and _society_ – he couldn't help but be envious. Humans were more than Androids– more than YorHa. They had lives, family, friends. YorHa existed for the purposes of war.

However, 9S, judging from the daily notices they received ("For Mankind."), 9S couldn't figure them out. He couldn't imagine how vastly different or how similar humans might be compared to Androids. Despite knowing so much of how they used to live, 9S knew nothing. The fact had frustrated him. The connection he felt whenever he learned more and more about them at times felt fake when he truly knew nothing. So 9S liked to daydream about the possibilities. How much more or less curious were humans compared to Scanner Types? What if they were equally curious? Such speculation had excited 9S. 

Not anymore. A part of him was disappointed at how... _inferior_ humans were. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, but it was the truth. It was knowledge. 9S observed and observed, but it didn't change a thing. Humans were much more inferior than Androids– heck, even Machines were more capable than humans were. 

But was that a bad thing? 9S had come to a conclusion: No. 

It didn't matter how long 9S lived alongside the human race– they still fascinated him. They always managed to surprise him. Their weaknesses only made their strengths shine even more. And at times like that, 9S knew that humans are also far more _superior_ than Androids.

"Hey!" 9S heard a voice. He looked up to see Operator 21O– Ventuna. She's Ventuna– open his door with a grin. 

9S smiled back, lifting up the pile of junk in his hands. "Sorry. Still not finished." 9S had overestimated himself. Creating things was no easy feat. 

Ventuna's smile didn't waver. She sat down beside him and eyed the parts on the ground. She whistled, impressed. 9S didn't know how to whistle. "It's okay. This is a lot more than what I could do, anyway." 

9S shrugged. 

"You do that a lot, you know?" Ventuna said, nudging him by the side. 

"What?" He replied, slightly annoyed. He rubbed his side. Human bodies were so sensitive.

"That shoulders thing." 

"You mean shrugging?"

"Yeah yeah, whatever it's called." Ventuna made a vague gesture. It was still so weird to see Operator 21O's face look so carefree. 9S wished he could program his mind to just accept that Ventuna and Operator 21O were separate people. 

9S huffed and rolled his eyes. Something warm was building up near his torso. He... felt something like this before. His mind flashes and 9S is reminded of 2B. 9S playfully punched Ventuna's arm. 

"Jerk." She stuck her tongue out and 9S imitated the childish action. 

A moment of silence fell upon them before they burst out in laughter.

\---

9S met them a few days after. In this world, they were born as twins. Their snow-white hair and piercing red eyes sent 9S' mind reeling. It was like seeing Ventuna for the first time all over again. 

Adam and Eve. 

The twins were around the same age as he was, albeit slightly older. Their hands were held tight together but they both smirked the same smirk 9S had seen before. 

"Say hello to your new classmates!" The teacher's normally sweet voice sounded like poison in his ears. New classmates? Them? 9S gritted his teeth together.

Adam spoke first, "It's a pleasure to meet you all. I am Adam." He said with elegance. The atmosphere around him radiated charm, but 9S could only remember the look of mockery that seemed permanent on his face. How he treated everything below him and used 2B and 9S for his purposes. "And this is Eve." Adam gestured to his brother. 

Eve grinned and waved. 9S found that odd. He expected Eve to say something– anything, really. But the boy stayed silent. Nothing like the loud rage Eve emitted back in the ruins. 

9S blocked out what was happening around him. Adam and Eve were his classmates. He wondered how much different they were compared to the pair he had met in the abandoned Alien base. 9S looks up from the random spot he had been staring at. He finds Adam and Eve sitting diagonally from him, curiosity building up. 

When the lesson started, he observes them. He observes the way Adam would focus on the lesson and nothing else, taking down notes. He observes how Eve would drift off, obviously daydreaming. Eve's leg bounces up and down to a rhythm only he can feel. Adam's feet were placed firmly on the ground. 

9S doesn't know what to think. 

Finally, the bell rings, signaling lunchtime. 9S looks up from his desk and finds the twins above him. 

"Hello. Are you by any chance–" 

"Nines." 9S cuts Adam off. "You can just call me Nines." 9S had discovered his alternate self's name and 9S isn't happy with it. He'd rather have people call him 'Nines'.

Adam smiles. "Okay then. Nines it is." His voice was soft and calm. "Forgive me for asking, but why are you here?" 

The suddenness of the question catches 9S off guard. What did he mean? Did.. Did Adam know? Panic starts to fuel his system. His hand twitches, ready to grab something that could possibly protect him. Instincts that he had to develop and hone were prickling at the back of his mind. For a split second 9S is back in the wastelands like he never left. 

Eve's expression turns sour. He elbows his brother and Adam winced. "Ah– sorry, sorry," Adam says and 9S blinks in response. That seemed so out of character. "I'm sorry for my rudeness. I could've phrased that in a different way." 

Eve looks satisfied.

"You are obviously far more intelligent than everyone in this room, so why are you here?" Adam asks and 9S' heart calms down a bit. Was that it? If that was all he wanted to know, 9S could provide an answer. 

But he wasn't going to give it away so easily. "Isn't it your first day? How can you be so sure of that? I barely did anything in class today." Something in him wanted to fight against the twins. Perhaps it was the cold embers of vengeance waiting to be stirred into life. 

Adam smiles and there is something in his eyes that reminds 9S of the Adam that tried to kill him and 2B. It wasn't the same, though. It was tamer. More innocent. It was more amused than _amused._ Adam gestures to the entire classroom. "Rumors." He simply says. 

"Didn't think of you to be the gossip type." 9S casually comments.

Adam ignores his remark. "The teachers also speak quite highly of you." 

9S is walking information. He strives off knowledge. He cannot help himself from using such knowledge– he was trained to use whatever he has. He may be trained to be well informed, but he didn't want to skip years. He's already skipped enough as it is– from his _Parents'_ insistence. 9S wanted to experience what any child his age would. 9S looks directly into Adam's red, human eyes. Adam is smart, but he is still human. There is a difference between them– a large one. 9S didn't know if he liked that or not. 

"I want to be here." 9S says, "That is why I am here." 

Adam stares at him. Firey Red met icy blue. Eventually, Adam smiles and it's a smile 9S had never seen before. It was a small smile that held a lot in it. "I see." He nods in understanding. 9S wonders what is going through his mind. What did Adam find?

Adam shares a look with Eve and the two looks satisfied. Eve makes a gesture with his hands. 9S doesn't understand. However, it seemed like Adam understood and immediately said, "Eve said that we should have lunch together."

Suddenly it hits him. Eve is mute. That is such a big difference from the Eve he knew. The Eve 9S knew had always let his brother talk through the complicated things, but that didn't mean that Eve wasn't vocal. Eve had made it perfectly clear that he was enraged and deeply saddened by Adam's death. He was so loud and rampant. His mere presence was suffocating with how _vocal_ he was.

9S knew little about human dysfunctions and disabilities. He was interested. "Sure." He replies easily.

It seemed like they had made peace. He saw Eve beam and Adam grin. It was an odd sight to see. 

Things were so different. 

\---

9S sat on his bed as he stared at his hands. A sudden question came to mind: who was he? No, no, that was a bad question. What he meant to ask himself was: who was the person that lived in the body he currently inhabited? 

9S had pushed that sense of wrongness from the start, instead choosing to focus on his current existence. However, who was the boy that everyone knew? 9S felt sick. He was so selfish to only think of himself and not whoever 'Nines' was. 

Did he die?

It was a terrifying thought. What if the boy had died? 9S had woken up on a bed– how could he have died? There was nothing that could've caused a death. 

Perhaps it was 9S' fault. It was him who was dying– him who should've died and stayed dead. 9S didn't know where Nines' went. Nines' was human. Where do dead humans go? 9S silently scoffed at himself. He didn't even know where dead Androids went– how could he possibly know where deceased _humans_ go? Humans wielded more than Androids did. One of those things were souls. 9S had read about souls, somewhere deep within the bunker. It was a hard concept to wrap his mind around. He thought about it day and night until he finally understands the basics of the concept of the soul. It was difficult, seeing as he could not relate to it. 

9S had never killed a human before. There was no possible way to do so. Humans were already dead. Out of all things, killing a human was something 9S expected himself to do the least. _He might have killed a human_ , the thought is traitorous in his head, _An innocent, living creature. One that held more value than he had._

9S couldn't forgive himself for that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which 9S still doesn't want to be alive but has to deal with it anyways. Oh and something about Nines, I guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah– I'm really blown away by the attention this fic is getting in this dead fandom lololololol  
> Thank you for all your amazing comments! It really motivates me ^^

9S wakes up to another day. He goes through his basic functions, more out of habit than anything. Sound, check. Vocal functions, check. Sensitivity, check. Vision, check. He was just about to test out his limbs before Ventuna suddenly entered his room, looking out of breath.

9S scrambles off his bed. "H-hey, are you okay?" He would be more concerned if it weren't for the large grin on her face.

"Nines!" Ventuna huffs out, "The cake is ready!"

"Wha-" 9S couldn't even finish his question before she grabs his wrist and is leading him downstairs. Ventuna had longer legs than he did, so he struggled to catch up. "What are you doing?!" He shouts as they narrowly dodge a corner. This is reckless! The house wasn't big enough for this kind of behavior! A part of him grimaces at the thought. He sounded like the stiffs back in the bunker.

Ventuna giggles. "What are you talking about? Aren't you excited?" She dashes and doesn't even slow down as they get closer to the door. 9S almost believes they're going to crash right into it, but Ventuna proves him wrong with a sudden push and then they're outside.

9S' bare feet make contact with the fresh grass. They skid to a stop and 9S is exhausted. "Okay, you're starting to freak me out. What's happening?" He says in between pants. Wow, this body is really unfit. He never had issues physically, due to the fact that Androids' bodies were created to be capable. War ready– even if their particular model wasn't a battle type.

Ventuna rolls her eyes and points at the cake in the middle of a picnic table. _Mother_ and _Father_ were at opposite sides of the table, smiles brightly on their faces. Adam and Eve are sitting on the seats, grinning. 9S stares dumbly at the cake before glancing at his _Family_ and _Friends_. They seem to be waiting for some sort of reaction. Anxiety starts to bubble in his stomach. What was he supposed to say? _Okay– quick. Think_ , 9S thinks to himself, there has to be something that could help him figure out his situation. Start with the cake. The cake seems to hold a lot of value for some odd reason. It was a pretty looking dessert. 9S squinted, looking at the words on the cake. Happy Birthday.

"Oh," 9S says, just above a whisper. His eyes widen and he looks at Ventuna, shocked. "No way." He couldn't help the disbelief from showing. It was... his Birthday? 9S had never experienced such a thing. He remembers finding old Birthday cards in the ruins. He remembers looking through the bunker's logs for more information about Birthdays. He... remembers asking Operator 21O if he had one.

_("Operator 21O." 9S says, catching her attention. Operator 21O raises an eyebrow, signaling 9S to continue. "Do..." It was embarrassing to ask, but 9S wanted to know, "Do Androids have Birthdays?"_

_9S saw something flash in her artificial eyes before it disappears. With her usual cool expression, she answers without mercy. "No." She turns her back to him, "Stop thinking about such things. It's idiotic." But 9S could hear a drop of sadness in her voice.)_

Was it selfish of him to be happy? Was it selfish of him to claim this day as his? It... didn't belong to 9S– it belonged to the boy whose body he is currently inhabiting. This wasn't fair.

Ventuna beams at him. She grabs his hand and leads him to a seat, right in front of the cake. He watches _Mother_ light up the candles and he sees Ventuna fidgeting with excitement.

_('Humans had many rituals. One ritual that they did, was wishing on their Birthday. First, there would be a cake– a dessert humans adored. For more information on cakes, please refer to Human Book 583 – with candles on top. The number of candles depended on the Birthday celebrant. The number of candles would be the same number of years that person had been alive. The Birthday celebrant would blow the fire off the candle and while doing so, they had to make a wish. They are not allowed to speak to others of what their wish had been.')_

9S stares at the nine candles in front of him. He wanted to feel guilty, but instead, he was intrigued. Thrilled, almost. He had never thought he could partake in such a ritual. Nine candles– how fitting.

But what to wish? What could he want? 9S scoffs silently to himself. Science has long proven that the wish would not be granted. So, it didn't matter what he wished for, right?

He blows the fire away. His _Family_ around him cheered. Eve pats him on the back and Adam fingers a bit of frosting into his mouth.

He had wished for forgiveness. He failed 2B, Operator 21O– everyone. He had stolen the life of an innocent. He didn't deserve forgiveness, but it wasn't like he was actually going to receive it anyway.

\---

9S had many Birthdays from then on. He'd have one every year like all humans did. The first few times, he was delighted! Oh, how exciting it was- especially since every year it was always different. But as the years come- year after year- the growing guilt inside him becomes not unlike to an itch that he can't scratch. It becomes a horror whenever it was his birthday- a gnawing, hungry pit that twists his insides. He wants to ask them to stop _please stop holding parties for me this isn't for **me** and never will_ \- But he never said any of those thoughts out loud. Every time it was his Birthday, 9S smiled and said thank you's.

9S had made friends along the way. People started to know him and he started to know them. 9S always liked interacting and socialising– he was often told he never knew when to shut up– but the downside to having friends was that they were invited whenever it was his Birthday. _Those people are celebrating a dead child's birthday. They don't even know he's dead._ It feels deceitful.

What was the most shocking was the fact that 9S had grown close to Adam and Eve. From anyone else's point of view, the three of them might have seemed like best friends. Perhaps they were. Did Adam and Even think of 9S as their best friend? It... was an odd thought.

Just like with Ventuna and Operator 21O– 9S started seeing more differences between the Adam and Eve that were Machines and the Adam and Eve that were humans. The Adam of this world was a genius in his own right. Both Adams hold a thirst for knowledge, but this world's Adam lacked the obsession of humanity and desire to be alike to humans. Instead, he was most interested in being different from the masses. He wanted to be an individual. Just like before, 9S didn't understand Adam.

Eve, although mute, was extremely expressive. 9S had learned how to do sign-language to communicate with him and 9S had found out some interesting things. Apparently, Eve wasn't always mute. An accident happened and now he is unable to speak. When 9S asked what that accident was, Eve simply signed, 'I had to protect my brother.' Much like Machine Eve, Human Eve was physically stronger than Adam. He didn't have the same odd interests Adam had, Eve just wanted to be with his brother. Eve was a lot easier to talk to than Adam.

Ventuna, as time flies, starts to resemble Operator 21O even more, which makes sense. Operator 21O was an adult and now Ventuna is 19 years old. The small signs of familial affection he saw in Operator 21O is openly displayed in Ventuna. Ventuna has matured greatly, thus changing 9S' perspective. He used to think of Ventuna as someone who looked like Operator 21O but acted completely opposite– like a _child_ – however now that their personalities have become more alike, it became harder to differentiate the two. This is what Operator 21O could've been. 9S doesn't see Ventuna as often anymore. She's at University. If 9S remembers right, she is studying Tourism. 

_("Don't worry, Nines!" Ventuna smiled brightly, luggage already in the car. "I'll come to visit whenever I can."_

_9S smiled thinly. He can't deny that he has grown fond of Ventuna. She's like a big sister he never had. "I know."_

_"Besides," Ventuna says, bringing out a rectangular object. "I still have this!"_

_9S stares at the piece of technology in her hands– the same one he made due to Ventuna's request. Engraved on its sleek black surface reads 'Pod 153.' It doesn't look like Pod 153, but 9S was feeling sentimental. His excuse back then was something along the lines of "so the enemy will think that there are more of us!" 9S smiled at the memory. "Yeah, you're right." He still had the matching one that read 'Pod 042.')_

Now, four years since his first Birthday, age 13, 9S is surprised to see how well he had adjusted to human civilization and mind you, it isn't easy getting used to a world you have never experienced before. 9S has grown accustomed to humans, but that doesn't mean he accepts the fact that he is here in the first place.

He refuses to look at the mirror as much as possible.

A small part of 9S is grateful that 2B didn't have to go through with such a big change. It was only due to his extensive knowledge regarding the human culture that he's somehow managing.

"I'm bored," Adam says, carefreely. The teen balancing on the hind legs of his chair. 9S found it weird and interesting at the same time.

Eve signed, 'There isn't a lot to do. Lunch is going to end soon.' He then proceeded to sip on his milk carton.

"Eve is right," 9S speaks up, "Perhaps after school?"

Adam scoffed. "After school? Like regular teenagers? I refuse." His chair made a loud sound as he sat down on his chair properly. Adam crosses his arms.

"Then what do you suggest we do?" 9S asks, exasperated. He shoves a grape in his mouth.

Adam pushes his glasses up and smirks. 9S has a bad feeling. "How about at night?"

9S shares a look with Eve. 'What?' Eve signs. Going out at night isn't really a spectacular activity.

Adam stands up on his chair, placing one foot on 9S' desk. He didn't seem to mind the glances from their classmates, in fact, he soaked in the attention like a sponge but he didn't pay them any mind. 9S hears sighs from the other students before they focus on other things that are not Adam. By now, everyone is used to him. "Let us explore this city during the dead of the night!" Adam declares. 

Eve grins widely, following Adam's example and started standing on his chair as well. He puts his hands on his hips and puffs his chest out. 9S found the action endearing.

Finally, 9S processes what Adam had just said. "Wait– what?" He splutters. "Are you sure? We're only minors and–"

"That is precisely why we must go!" Adam cuts him off, landing gracefully back on the ground like nothing happened. He was always one for theatrics. "Aren't you curious, Nines? The world of the adults!" _Humans_ , 9S' mind supplied, _the world of the humans and what they do while children like him were supposed to be asleep._

It was a low blow. Adam knew that if 9S was interested he couldn't say no. Eve stares down at him for his answer and Adam has a confident smirk. "This will end terribly." 9S finally speaks, "I can't believe you're peer pressuring a thirteen-year-old." He says dryly.

Adam chuckles. "I don't hear a no." The teen sits down on his chair again, Eve following. "Besides, we're only 2 years older than you."

"Such admirable fifteen-year-olds."

"Oh shush."

Eve silently laughs.

\---

This was such a bad idea. 9S regrets everything. Why did he even agree to this? Although, he could've just stayed home instead of going through with it. But Adam and Eve were only _fifteen_. Far too young. 9S may be hosting a 13-year old's body, but he wasn't mentally thirteen. If they got in trouble, 9S is most likely to come up with something that could save their butts.

Also, he's been in a war. A long war. He can handle a simple outing.

9S snuggles into his wool scarf. It just had to be Winter. 9S idly rubs his hands together. He didn't have to do that when he was an Android. He continues walking, trying to find Adam and Eve. They said they would be around the train station. His eyes fall on the giant clock– 2:35 am. Yeah. Definitely a bad idea. As an Android, 9S didn't need sleep but as a human 9S needed sleep terribly.

It's really surprising that there are still so many people out, 9S thinks to himself as he pushes through the crowd, although not as bad as in the day. From the corner of his eyes, 9S sees a small store. A cafe. 9S scans the area around him once again– still no signs of Adam and Eve. He shrugs, he can afford to check out a store before he has to continue searching.

9S opens the door and a small ring follows. The cafe had a homey feel to it. Thankfully, there weren't a lot of people. Just a few possibly sleep-deprived students and adults. His gaze falls on the person behind the counter and 9S' heart skids to a stop. Was... was that Devola? Holy crap– it totally was. And now she's looking at him. Oh no no no no–

Look natural. Go through the basic breathing procedures. Inhale and exhale. Don't get overwhelmed. Timidly, 9S walked up to the counter. It would look weird if he went in the cafe only to leave immediately. He purposefully didn't look at Devola in the eye. "Uh... Do you guys still have some snacks?" Wow, that sounded really embarrassing. He sounded like he really was thirteen!

Devola chuckles. "Sure we do, kid." She points to the display of baked goods. "Just choose which one you want."

Did 9S even have money on him? He dug into his pocket. Okay, good, he does. 9S looks through the choices. There wasn't a lot, considering that it was already 2 am. Oh man, it's 2 am. Does she think it's odd for someone his age to be out alone? Stupid question– of course, she does! "Erm... Can I have this one, please?" He points to the oat cookie. He needs to get out of here.

Devola hums. "Alright." Everything about her is carefree and languid. She puts the oat cookie in a paper bag before giving it to him. "That'd be 2.50"

Thank the gods, 9S has enough for the oat cookie. 9S had enough humiliation for one night. "Thank you." He says, giving her the money.

Devola gives a lazy smile. "Have a nice night."

9S didn't take for granted the chance to escape. He exits the cafe and into the cold Winter air. At least he got a cookie. 9S walks around aimlessly, still trying to find the twins. Where the heck are they?

9S sits on a random bench he found, nibbling on the oat cookie. That was Devola earlier– he still can't believe it. What... what if everyone was here? Somewhere in this alternate reality, the people he–

9S chokes back the sob threatening to escape. 2B could... she could be somewhere. He entertains the thought for a little bit. Just a little bit. 2B could be _alive_ in this world. Alive, healthy and happy. Living a life in peace without him.

9S thinks that's fine.

If 2B is somewhere in this world living the life she deserves then 9S... 9S doesn't want to meet her. He doesn't want to involve himself in her life– he _can't_. He thinks back to fire and ashes– to bodies scattered on the ground like trash. He remembers cutting through Androids like paper and he remembers frantically rushing. _He has to get to her– he has to he has to he has to–_

9S takes a shaky breath. She wouldn't remember the bloodshed and the death– none of them seem to do. 9S is the only one. He chuckles bitterly. Of course, it'd be him. The only one who has to remember the ones who died and the ones who should've lived. The only one with _hands tainted in this pristine world–_

Yeah. He can't meet her. He doesn't deserve to see her. It would be better if filth like him stayed away. There's some weird pressure beneath his eyes and that only serves as another reminder that he isn't like them– he was never created as a human– and that makes him an outsider. Liquid starts to run down his cheek. It feels different to how Androids shed tears.

The world he lived in is gone. He's the only thing of it that remains.

Why couldn't he just be dead as well?

9S crumpled up the empty paper bag. He stands up and throws it in the nearest trash bin. Opening his phone, he sends a quick text:

_Sorry. Going home._

\---

The next day, Adam has a black eye and Eve has bandages around his knuckles. An anchor of dread sits heavy in 9S' stomach.

9S immediately asks for what happened and Eve reassures they're okay. Apparently, there was a group of men– possibly from a gang– beating someone up. It was Adam's idea to go and help, to which Adam scoffs at. "It's because of scums like them that we can't live peacefully in this world," Adam says. Oh, the irony.

9S curls into himself, gripping his hair. He sinks into his desk. Oh god. This– This was exactly why he decided to go with them in the first place. But because of how stupid he was they–

He feels a pat on his shoulder and 9S looks up to see Eve smiling at him. 'It's okay. Not your fault.'

But 9S sees something in their eyes that changed. He's afraid of what could happen from now on. 9S gives the floor a bitter smile, unable to meet Eve's gaze. "Okay."

\---

It was a bright, sunny Saturday afternoon and 9S found himself helping his _Mother_ with the dishes from lunch. It was to be expected, this is what _Family_ do. Especially since Ventuna is off at University. However, 9S could still feel anxiety crawl on his skin like an insect. It was always intimidating being with his _Parents_ , somehow.

Gratefully, _Mother_ seems oblivious to his plight. She stares at him, hands automatically washing the dishes.

9S dries a plate with a small towel. "Um... is there something on my face?"

 _Mother_ smiles, focusing back on her task. "It's not that, sweetheart." She scrubs down on a particularly nasty stain. "I'm just surprised your hair is still white."

9S comes to a halt. Did he just hear that correctly? His hair... wasn't originally white? He knows that white hair isn't a common hair color among young people– he's seen the people around him– but surely it wasn't weird... right? Adam and Eve's hair is white. "Uh." Is the only thing that comes out of his mouth. Great going, he thinks to himself. How on earth is he going to get answers? The curiosity in him is almost suffocating.

"Did you dye your hair without us realizing?" _Mother_ asks with a playful tone.

9S shakes his head. "Nope."

"Then I hope your brown hair comes back soon," She sighs wistfully, "I've seen pictures and it's beautiful. Such a shame."

His hair was brown. Nines' original hair color was _brown_. He... oddly feels distanced from this boy he never met. "A shame?" He questions. Mother hasn't seen his hair before it was white. That means Nines' had brown hair at one point before his adoption. What could've happened? It doesn't sound like his hair was dyed from Mother's tone, but... "Is white hair no good?" He forces himself to sound casual– joking-like.

She chuckles and the sound is like lemon and honey. "No, not at all. You strangely suit white." _Mother_ places the last dish, a cup, on the drying rack and proceeds to dry her hands. She grabs another towel to help him. "It's just... unfortunate that it turned out the way it did and why." Her expression grows somber.

9S can't take it anymore. He needs to know. Steeling his nerves, he decides to take a leap of faith. _Please work_. "Why did my hair turn white anyway?" He quickly adds, "It was brown and then next thing I knew it was white."

 _Mother_ looks at him straight in the eyes, a gentle but sad smile on her face. "After all that... _happened–_ " Which 9S still has no clue about– "enough stress ends up making the hair grow white. It's called the Marie Antoinette Syndrome." She heavily sighs and whispers to herself, "You were still so young too. Of course, you wouldn't know about it."

9S never heard of that syndrome before. It doesn't seem deadly– which is probably why he never heard or read about it before– so perhaps he'll be fine. However, his interests have been piqued. 9S helps his _Mother_ put the last of the dishes away and puts his towel away.

"Thank you for your help, sweetheart."

9S smiles. "No problem!" He should be the one thanking her for giving him more info about his other self's life.

He rushes up the stairs to begin researching.

\---

9S now knows what Marie Antoinette Syndrome is.

What could've happened to do this to Nines?

\---

"Hey, you guys," 9S says while he and the twins were walking to the train station. "That white hair... isn't natural, is it?"

Adam smirks. "Nope!" He says, popping the 'p.'

Eve lets put a soundless laugh.

"We actually dyed our hair." Adam finally supplies.

"But why?"

'To look cool.' Eve signs. 'It was brother's idea.' 9S should've expected that.

"Precisely!" Adam declares, coming to a halt. They've arrived at the train station. "It's going to become a trend and then we can proudly say that _we_ started it."

Pulling out his phone, 9S searches 'dyed white hair.' He chuckles at the results. "It looks like it's already a trend."

"What?!" The screech that comes out of Adam's mouth causes 9S to jump. Before he knew it, Adam grabbed his phone to stare wide-eyed at the screen. "No way."

9S kinda feels bad for him.

Eve moves to sign. 'I told you.'

\---

White hair isn't natural- unless you're old. 9S self consciously runs his hands through his hair. What did Nines feel like living a life with abnormally colored hair? Did he lie to the people he met, saying that he dyed it? Did he tell them that he didn't? Did he avoid the subject altogether?

What should 9S do? No one has confronted him about his hair color yet. But someone is bound to at some point. 9S is living someone else's life so he must act accordingly. A noise of frustration leaves his lips. How is he supposed to do that? He doesn't know anything about him!

How can he find out more about Nines without being obvious?

His eyes trail off and land on the mirror in his room. He cringes. Despite looking so alike to how he had looked- this container isn't his. It looks uncanny to see himself without his blindfold. Makes him feel vulnerable. But 9S can't see with his eyes blindfolded, unfortunately.

Glaring at his reflection, he makes up his mind. He's going to find the orphanage that Nines had lived in.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regression and Progression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT! I must say that the stuff 9S says or think sometimes about matters in modern society is just all speculation. There are times in which he does know what he's talking about but y'know he's only a boy trapped in a world he used to only dreamed about. So yeah.

Human technology was laughable, 9S thought to himself. A surge of power and familiarity enabled 9S' fingers to dance across the keyboard like child's play. 9S tugged the scarf around his neck closer to his mouth and let out a puff of laughter. He can't believe he's doing this, but the action nonetheless stirs something in him that he had never felt before– thrill.

The room he was in was incredibly dark. 9S had no doubt that a human wouldn't have been able to see in this darkness, but 9S was not born human. The thought had erupted a question in him: Despite everything, he is currently inhabiting a human body. So, with that logic, shouldn't his senses be on par with a human being?

9S decided to entertain that thought. Was it because he was programming demanded this of him and thus was instilled deep within him that it transferred to this world? Or perhaps 9S just couldn't let go of these traits? Another mystery, 9S thought bitterly.

The silence around him was deafening but 9S kept his ears keen. What was it that made an Android, an Android? No–no, a better question would be: What made 9S, 9S? He was created as an Andoird– a Scanner type. His particular kind specializes in espionage, infiltration, and data gathering and so, the skills and talents required for such jobs were ingrained in him. But that didn't explain why he still has them now. Androids... although unlike to humans, do not have a soul but somehow have some sort of consciousness that creates thoughts and emotions in them. Was it because of that? 9S bites his lip– he doesn't know.

He straightens up– body obeying without any problem. The reaction time was spot on and 9S is reminded yet again of how amazing a human body truly is– and looks at the screen in front of him. 9S grins. Great! It didn't take him too long! In fact, 9S' eyes darts towards the digital clock on the corner of the screen, if he remembered correctly, he's only been in the room for 15 minutes.

On instinct, his mouth opens. "Pod 153–" 9S shuts his mouth with a loud sound, teeth clashing. For a split second, his intense focus and concentration go down the drain and he's left with a numb, unfeeling emotion. He feels... cold? 9S let out a slightly hysterical chuckle. What the hell? He shouldn't be feeling like this. _C'mon– c'mon– go back to what you were doing, **your mission.**_

And yet, 9S finds himself pulling out the flat, rectangular object that he keeps on his person. Without thinking he selects the only contact and listens to the monotone ringing. It is only when he hears Ventuna's sleepy voice did he snap out of his trance. "U-uh... Nines? Is that you?" She slurs and then lets out a loud yawn. Oh no, what on earth is he doing? He's frozen, mouth agape with no words coming out.

"Erm... Nines? You okay there buddy?" The concern in her voice nearly makes 9S sob. He doesn't understand whats happening– this never happened to him before. There's nothing that should've caused such a reaction and yet– and yet–

His ears are roaring and his throat feels like it's closing tight, suffocating him. His breathing is uneven and he's pretty sure Ventuna can hear it.

"Nines?" Her voice is lower. Softer. And 9S is attacked by sickening nostalgia. Oh god oh god– she sounds exactly like her. Like Operator 21O. "Nines, please talk to me. I'm really worried right now." Operator 21O– Ventuna– continues to speak and 9S can feel himself relaxing slowly.

"Can... Can you do me a favor?"

9S can basically feel the relief from the other side of the device. "Of course! Anything."

There are many things 9S could've said. _Call me 9S– call me by my name. Tell me I did a good job with the mission. Scold me for stalling and yell at me to hurry up and retrieve the data– please. **Please...**_ Instead he says, "Do your best at Uni."

Operat– Ventuna stayed silent for a minute before saying softly, "Yeah. I will."

"Goodnight," 9S says and hangs up before she could say another word. 9S drops the device and collapses to his knees. He takes a deep breath in and a deep breath out before clearing up his mind and focusing back on the present.

9S swiftly grabs a USB out of his pocket and proceeds to install the information into it. He scoffs. USBs are ancient. Well, perhaps not for the humans.

9S stands up, steps quiet and sufficiently stays away from the cameras. He exits the building without any other thought.

\---

He can't sleep.

9S lays, staring at his ceiling while his mind thinks thinks thinks and thinks. 

What was that back there? What was that... explosion of emotion? 9S idly placed a hand on his chest, feeling the soft beating of Nines' heart.

(It's Nines' heart. Not his. This heart that is still living and sustaining someone who it shouldn't even be beating for. It's Nines who should be in this bed and it should be Nines who has to continue on in this world.)

9S has been careless, he's realized. He's been playing this game carelessly. It only then does the freezing feeling of dread cling to him like a parasite. 

He doesn't even know the container he's inhabiting. 9S can feel his breathing come too short _and there's not enough oxygen–_

His mind speeds up and the world shifts. He feels _so_ dizzy. 9S knew his body– he understood it. He knew how it worked and functioned and he knew that is he was to mess with the finer and thinner wires then his senses would glitch and he _absolutely knew_ that turning up the sensitivity all the way up would make him feel the wind intimately.

But 9S doesn't know this current body as well as he knew his Android body.

(He can't feel his fingers. He can't feel his toes. 9S has been stripped away from his sense of control and now it's like he's enslaved to the body he's trapped in. Helpless. Forced to suffer slowly and slowly–)

_I'm such an idiot– what am I even doing? What is happening now? I can't breathe– I can't breathe–_

9S forces himself off the bed, breaths coming out in uneven and strangled gasps. There's something in his chest that's restricting him from breathing. He's choking. He's dying. But this time it's so much worse because everything feels too _tight_ and his skin feels like it's glitching.

He sees starting to see black spots in his vision. His body grows weak without oxygen but his lungs still _burn_ but he feels _so cold._

9S passes out. 

\---

In the morning, right before leaving for school, 9S researches. Why? What? When? How? He doesn't understand what had caused such bursts of– 9S tries to find the word– panic. It just suddenly came and took him by surprise. The revelation that he had no idea what was happening only made him panic even more. 

The answer looked straightforward enough.

_(He feels jittery and shaken. His hands still felt weak and his legs feel like the jelly Ventuna used to eat a lot-)_

A panic attack.

\---

When 9S sees Adam and Eve, his databanks supply him with one single information: Machines. He already feels his hands twitch, ready to grab a weapon and engage in battle.

9S blinks hard and shakes his head, chasing away the sudden instinct. How... odd.

Eve pats him on the back, which the boy seems to enjoy doing, and grins. 9S knew without words nor signs that this was a greeting. "Good morning." 9S replies.

Adam sighs, pushing back a lock of hair. It was getting longer. 9S doesn't know how he feels about that. "Ugh, you can't believe how our night went." He grumbles.

Certainly, they didn't have to roam their entire house for official adoption documents before only finding a single piece of paper that had an agency's company name. Without a doubt, they didn't go in search of the building and obviously, they didn't break into said building at 4:53 am to steal information regarding the orphanage Nines used to live in. Nope.

(They also didn't have a panic attack at 5:32 am, but 9S dismissed the thought.)

"What happened?" 9S asks. In the corner of his vision, 9S sees Eve heave a heavy sigh. Okay, now he's interested.

Adam hums, acting as if he was considering whether to tell him or not. "I guess I could tell you..." 9S slumps against his chair, knowing that there will most definitely be a catch. "If you buy me bread at the shop during lunch!"

9S sets his lips into a thin line and looks at Adam, unamused. "You do know that I never bring any money with me, right?" Okay, that was a lie, but Adam didn't need to know that.

Adam laughs. "As if! I see you at the back of the school by the vending machine all the time!"

"Orange juice is justice." Out of all the juices, he's tasted in this world, orange juice was by far 9S' favorite. Well, perhaps other than cranberry juice. It came as a close second.

Eve blew a raspberry to which only made Adam laugh even more before he straightens and looked at 9S in the eyes. "Unless you don't want to hear the story, you have to buy me bread."

9S weighed the options in his head. Instantly, a scenario for each one played in his mind. Buying the bread would result in earning himself a tale from Adam, however, depending on which bread Adam would wish for, he may not have enough money for his orange juice. On the other hand, refusing to buy the bread would mean that 9S may never know what had transpired last night for the twins, but he will most certainly get his orange juice.

"What kind of bread?" 9S asks and Adam beams.

"Melon bread!"

9S relaxes, holding back a sigh of relief. He can manage that. "Okay, you win. I'll get you the melon bread."

Adam cheered loudly and Eve looks both embarrassed and amused.

\---

When lunch time came rolling in, 9S begrudgingly moved to the school shop and waited in line. This was ridiculous, Adam could just buy his own damn bread and would it kill Eve to tell his own brother how dumb this all was? 9S looked up from the ground to stare ahead, analyzing his surroundings, more out of habit than anything else.

Finally, he arrived at the front. He received the melon bread and gave the appropriate amount of money for the food. As 9S walks back to the classroom, melon bread in hand, he comes to a stunning revelation.

Buying food, attending school, bickering with friends(?) and complaining about said friends just like... a regular human being? 9S hadn't realized he stopped walking till someone bumped into him with a shout of "sorry!" but 9S couldn't think past the thought that manifested in his head like a virus.

Was... was this okay? Is he allowed to continue living like this? It was a stupid question and he knew it. Of course, he doesn't. 9S continues walking, steps heavy with emotion. Every single time 9S remembers over and over again–

He doesn't belong here. He's only playing a charade until he can find the path he was meant to walk– which would inevitably lead to death. And while he's at it, he hopes to find the person this body is supposed to inhabit in the first place. 

The boy who was given life alongside a container made of flesh and blood. 9S was created cold and hard but this body was warm and soft. 9S stops right outside the door of his classroom. He takes deep breaths before composing himself and opening the door.

"I got the bread." He says in what he hopes is a casual manner.

Adam stares at him for a while before smiling. "Awesome. Give it here!"

9S rolls his eyes and places the bread on Adam's awaiting hand. "You owe me now." He declares, settling back into his seat.

Adam sticks his tongue out. "No, I don't. You did this little favor of mine in return for a juicy story!"

Speaking of juice, 9S didn't buy his orange juice. Surprisingly, he doesn't feel upset over that. "Right. Sure. Are you going to tell me now or must I polish your shoes as well?"

"Well, if you're offering–" Eve punched Adam's shoulder. "Ow! Okay okay!" Adam put his hands up in surrender before smirking and 9S' finger twitches in response, wanting to wipe off the smirk. 9S holds himself back.

Instantly, Adam slumps and his face twists into one of irritation. "Just so you know, this isn't a _happy_ story."

9S suddenly feels like they should talk in private instead. His eyes scan the classroom quickly. Yeah, this won't do. His gaze returns back to the twins and before Adam could say another word, 9S speaks, "Let's talk later."

Adam blinks in confusion while Eve's eyes widen, surprised.

9S smiles. "Wouldn't it be smarter to talk somewhere with fewer people?" He gestures around the room. Why was he saying this? 9S racks his brain trying to figure out what could have possibly possessed him to do this. His mind flashes back to the pinched look Eve had and the look of exhausted irritation on Adam's face.

Perhaps he had grown fond of them.

Eve grins, mood improving instantly. 'Cool! Let's talk later then.'

"You don't have to tell me if you don't wan–"

Adam scoffs. "Are you kidding me? We've formed a pact!" He slams the melon bread on the table. "A bread pact! No one goes back on a bread pact!"

9S couldn't help the snort that escaped him.

\---

Later was moved to a different date. 9S didn't complain. It was their story so 9S had no problems with the story being pushed back to the next day. This happened on Thursday.

\---

9S plug the USB stick into his computer. While he had not known what Nines' password might have been, 9S simply hacked it and changed the password. It pains him that he's slowly overriding what made the computer Nines' and made it into 9S'- but what must be done, must be done.

Unfortunately, when 9S had initially checked the computer for clues, he got nothing. Nothing inside the computer spoke levels of the person Nines was. All 9S had found was boring stuff- mostly academics based information. It had seemed like all Nines had used the computer for was school.

But that begs a question. Before 9S took over Nines' life, Nines should've been...

Okay, 9S doesn't know what year level Nines would've been in- embarrassingly- but surely it wasn't anything challenging. However, looking through Nines' notes, 9S knows that the material he was studying is not suited for his age group.

But why?

It was odd. The boy had no other information— not even personal ones. Not a single photo. No trace of personality other than the fact that Nines had studied tough topics. Did that mean Nines had enjoyed a challenge? Or was it something else?

Did he not see any purpose to technology other than stuff like this? 9S saw no signs of enjoyment— had Nines actually had fun using technology, there would've been so much more.

Did that mean he had no interest?

9S realized that he was not all that alike to Nines after all. However, he was alike in some ways. There is a reason why no one has noticed the difference between 9S, YorHa Android unit who died in bitterness, and—

9S didn't want to think of the boy's true name.

9s shook the thought out of his head and focused on the task at hand. An echo of Operator 21O sighing made his heart clench and his lips curve into a dry smile. This time he didn't call Ventuna as his fingers proceeded to do their job.

9S hadn't had time to individually select what information he wanted to download (it way past his curfew) so he just downloaded data regarding any recent enough information of adoptions under their agency.

9S scrolled through each entry and noticed the large amounts of children from the same orphanage. That orphanage must've been the company's main partner.

Company? Agency? 9S didn't know how the political system worked so he was honestly grasping at straws (he never got enough information to create a solid database concerning the topic). Perhaps it was just an extension of the government.

9S didn't like accepting the fact he didn't have information.

He huffs as his eyes idly scanned each entry. They all have details like names, adopted parents' name with address, orphanage name and small notes regarding the child.

9S stops short.

Azalea.

There was something... about this name. 9S couldn't put his finger on it. Curious, 9S clicked on the name for more information.

Azalea Un Due. Female. 14 Year's old. Adopted by Mary Alvarado and Stephen Alvarado.

9S noted that she wasn't from the "main" orphanage.

9S copied the address and searched it online. Just in case. It also seemed like the adoption was made a year ago- meaning that the girl was most likely 15 now. That's the same age as Adam and Eve, 9S thought to himself.

The notes regarding the girl were honestly... not the greatest. 9S wonders why she was even adopted in the first place. She was already a teen and one not with the best attitude.

_Azalea had caused multiple violent acts in the short amount of time she was in our care. Six years ago, when she came in, she was quiet and showed anti-social behavior. Often stirred up the children and disrespected staff. Her attitude developed into something much more explosive and soon she was fighting with the older boys in the orphanage. Sneaking out, stealing from the other children._

_Before Azalea was charged in our care, she was established in Victoria Orphanage. Perhaps that is why she has such a troubling attitude._

Victoria Orphanage. That's the "main" orphanage. 9S had seen so many entries from the same orphanage. Why?

9S glanced away from the entry and moved to a different tab- the one with the address. Although human technology was inferior, it did what it could. The graphics were terrible but 9S sucked it up and searched for what he was looking for through something called "Google Maps."

Ah. He found it.

It was a decent looking house. Nothing remarkable but certainly not bad looking. Why was he even doing this? 9S leaned back in his chair. This was stupid. There's nothing about this girl that should—

9S clicked back to the entry tab. There was just something about her...

Azalea Un Due.

Un Due. . . 9S searched deep in his language databases. Ventuna's name had some sort of connection. Perhaps this girl too...

9S hoped not. He didn't want to find another person. And yet he continue looking until finally—

Un Due. Un means A. Due means two. A two. A2.

9S slammed his fist on the table before turning the computer off.

—-

That happened on Friday. Still no story from the twins. 9S could wait.

—-

9S kept his pace steady and casual, trying to avoid suspicion. His eyes were glued to the house in his sight— A2's house.

Of all people, why did she have to be here?

He stops right outside the gate, gazes unwavering. If glares could burn then the entire house would be on fire. A part of 9S wished it did.

_A2 with her irritating blue eyes burning. 9S could imagine it now- an A2 with no battle experience or fighting ability would panic. Inhale smoke. Slowly suffocate. Fire licking her all-too-real skin until it's nothing but charcoal—_

9S held his hands back. Calm down. The searing hot rage in him roared— but without the influence of the virus, 9S could control himself. Control- all the Androids of YorHa have been disciplined to have control over themselves. This should be easy.

But it isn't. 9S forces himself not to think. Don't think— mind blank. Walk away and don't look back. He knew that if he were to sneak a glance— no matter how small— his body would move and he would do something not pretty.

Inhale. Exhale. He could feel his pulse accelerate and it is an interesting feeling. 9S focused on that. The trees, the streets, the birds flying in the air. Anything but _her._

9S curled into a ball when he got home, breathing unsteady. His skin felt too warm and there was a tightness in his chest.

He knows now the feeling of repressed anger. This happened on Saturday— Adam and Eve have not spilled the beans.

\---

It was one of Father's rare day offs. Father is a busy man who works a lot of hours, 9S realized. However, Father was a kind man. 9S looks at his Father who was helping Mother in the garden, 9S was standing in the shade. He was quite weak against the sun, frustratingly.

"Nines, my boy! Come out here!" His Father joyfully laughed.

9S resisted the urge to pout. He isn't a child. "I'd love to, really." His voice was dry. "But the sun burns." He wonders whether it was because his artificial skin was resilient to all kinds of conditions and he got used to that. 9S groans. He hates sunny days.

Mother giggled from afar. "You've got to go out and let yourself get used to it." She says as gentle as always.

"The winter chill is slowly going away, you should be grabbing the opportunity!"

9S had many opportunities in the summer, thank you very much. "Uh, yeah, no."

9S watches Mother as she removes her garden gloves, a bright smile on her face. "How about a cold drink, son?" The word 'son' sent shivers down his spine. Was that a good thing? He felt twitchy and wrong.

"Um, yeah. Thanks." He says but Mother was already moving back inside the house. He trails after her. "So, uh," He felt like he had to say something, "When's Ventuna coming to visit?"

Mother grabs a glass. "Sometime this month, perhaps?" 9S lets out a thoughtful hum. "Orange juice or Apple?" She asks.

"Orange."

"Thought you'd say that." She laughs.

Father enters the room, sweat dripping down his face. "Oh god, it's hot!"

"I thought you wanted to enjoy the sunny day," 9S says.

" _Cold_ drinks," Father says. "Can't say no." He shrugs.

Mother hands 9S his orange juice. He sips, the cool feeling going down his throat. 9S sighs, content. Yeah, he completely understands what Father meant.

Father basically swallows his entire drink. 9S laughs despite himself.

This happened on Sunday. 9S didn't receive any texts from the twins.

\---

It was Monday. Adam and Eve are absent.

\---

_"Are you guys okay?"_ 9S messages them on Tuesday. There's an emotion that feels like something weird crawling on his back— 9S doesn't know what it is.

No reply. He pockets his phone— a laughable device— and focuses back on his main objective. Trying to find out more about Nines.

What even is Victoria Orphanage? A sigh escapes his lips as he decided to use Google once again. Humans were quite reliant on the search engine, but 9S honestly found it a hassle. It was nothing compared to the available technology at the bunker.

But it was his only choice. Swiftly, his fingers typed in "Victoria Orphanage." 9S was pleasantly surprised with the result.

The answer was presented right in front of his eyes. 9S drank in the information like a man in a desert. From the data, it turns out that Victoria Orphanage was a fairly ordinary orphanage. Established about 23 years from today. However, it turns out that the orphanage had to shut down due to an unfortunate accident that occurred 6 years ago.

A fire.

And a big one at that.

Luckily, no one from the orphanage was harmed or killed. Seeing as the orphanage was terribly damaged, it would've taken at least a month to repair it to its former glory— thus, the children were transferred to different orphanages. However, a surprisingly large amount of children were adopted before that could happen. This most likely happened out of pity, 9S thought to himself.

But A2 wasn't as lucky. She was taken to a different orphanage. 9S couldn't help feeling delighted by the fact. But, of course, she had a family now.

Six years ago, huh? That was before 9S even came to this world. He really wonders what Nines was like.

Right. Nines. That's his mission.

9S opened the information he, uh, stole. He looked through each entry and ignored every other name than the one he was looking for. It was troublesome since he had just ended up downloading the whole thing, but beggars can't be choosers. That's a saying he heard Father say. 

And finally– 9S reached his destination.

The name in front of him was as forgettable looking as every other name there was, but it was _Nines'._

**Septem.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 9S is tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a shot every time 9S asks a question. Also, 10K words!!!

_Septem_

(His name meant seven. He hated it.)

9S walks, mind blank except for the information concerning a certain boy circling in his head. Over and over again.

_Septem. Male. 7 years old._

(He was adopted a year before 9S came into this world.)

He walks and walks. Feet heavy as lead and mouth dry as a desert. He swallows, feeling an incoming dizzy spell.

_From Victoria Orphanage._

(He wasn't transferred to another orphanage.)

He focuses on breathing, but the world still warps. His eyes grow heavy and he starts feeling sick.

_Septem is a quiet and smart child. He's always reading something and you can never see him without a book. He's kind and polite, albeit a little awkward. We were worried at first that he wouldn't make any friends, but that proved to be unnecessary as he got along well with his peers._

Peers, 9S thinks to himself, that has to be his group of friends, right? Where were they now? Who are they? 

(Too many questions.)

"Nines?"

What did it even matter if 9S didn't know all these things?

"Hello? Nines?"

Logically, nothing. But... something just didn't feel right if he didn't know.

"Um..."

As if he was missing the big picture.

"Nines!"

9S yelps. "Ahh!" Heart jumping and senses clicking back into place. Awareness flooded into him and along came embarrassment as Ventuna's face, perfectly alike to Operator 21O's, came into vision. Her two red-headed friends were frowning in the background. 9S' thought processing engine gracious supplied him with an eloquent thought: _oh no._

"Are you okay, Nines?" Ventuna's eyebrows were furrowed and her arms were crossed. An identical picture. It was as if 9S was staring at Operator 21O. Her hair was even styled the same way...

9S blinked hard to prevent himself from being swayed into another daze. He'll ponder on the past later when he's alone.

"You've been out of it all day," Ventuna says and it feels as if her words held something else in them other than concern. Suspicion? Is Ventuna the type of person to even be suspicious of others? Or perhaps that's just 9S' memories filling in the gaps. Operator 21O wore suspicion beautifully and often. As well as bemusement. 9S couldn't remember a time in which she didn't express them.

(He could. It was when her eyes were a blazing crimson and her weapon drawn out, pointing towards him.

9S couldn't help but scream.)

"It's... okay if you're not feeling well," Popola says in her usual soft manner. Her eyes, in comparison to Devola's, were slightly droopy and she held a lazy atmosphere.

Devola, however, sighs and 9S could hear mock disappointment. "Just when we thought we could hang out with 'Tuna's," She started to imitate Ventuna's voice," _adorable, intelligent_ little brother."

"... 'Tuna?" 9S couldn't help but mutter.

"That's what you're focusing on?!" Ventuna yells, face as red as the twins' hairs.

He couldn't help it if he was being completely honest with himself. Ventuna was nothing like a fish and so the nickname was... Was...

9S snorted.

"Don't laugh!"

—

It was nice of them to even think of inviting him on their hangout (9S was so shocked when he saw Devola. He was so sure that he wouldn't see her again. Devola had waved a carefree hand and gave an easy-going smile.) but 9S was honestly feeling a little bit left out. The three would talk and talk about things he couldn't understand. When he asked, all he got in response was a flippant: _eh, it's girl stuff_ from Devola.

What even was girl stuff?

Female Androids and Male Androids held no difference except for their bodies. What makes humans so different in that aspect?

9S pondered. Was it sexual desire? 9S will admit that such... vices existed in Androids. He definitely felt flustered when 2B continuously insisted that she couldn't feel anything during maintenance. Her sensitivity should've been on!

9S sighs. 2B...

For now, 9S thinks he'll store "girl stuff" in his databanks. Who knows? It might come in handy one day.

9S' feet continue walking forward automatically, but slow as they pass by a curious looking shop. Are those flowers?

"Oh!" Popola's eyes brighten up. "A flower shop!"

Devola smiles fondly. "You always liked flowers, huh?"

Ventuna giggles. "Remember when she tried making her own tiny garden in the dorms? People were furious!"

"Plants needs soil! Of course, things would get dirty!" Popola huffs and pouts. It looks like the memory still stirred some intense emotions.

9S, however, couldn't keep his eyes off a particular flower. The flower was alone and settled in a vase. He titled his head slightly. Weren't flowers usually clumped together or something?

Wasn't that a Lunar Tear? It was jarring to see a Lunar Tear by itself. 9S was used to seeing them surrounded by others in that field, glowing and beautiful yet oddly sorrowful. Aesthetically melancholy. However, this one was alone. Why would they do that? In his peripheral vision, he witnessed other Lunar Tears grouped together happily. This lonely Lunar Tear, despite looking alike, did not belong.

He strangely felt like he could relate.

...Was he projecting onto a flower?

(Pathetic.)

"It looks like you've caught your eyes on a white lily!" Ventuna chirps. "They're pretty as always."

White... lily? So, they _weren't_ called Lunar Tears? They looked so alike.

"Well, to be accurate... They're stargazer lilies." Popola says meekly.

(9S could vividly remember standing there. In that field of Lunar Tears, 2B's sword... and her blind.)

His eyes left the lily and landed on another flower. This was a pot of blues and whites. The flowers themselves looked small and petite. They were cute.

"Forget-Me-Not..." Popola muttered. "Such beautiful flowers with such a sad meaning."

9S could infer from the name, but just in case, "What do they mean?"

"True and undying love," She started, "Remembrance... of partings. Or death."

"But that's not all." Devola cuts in. It seems like she learned a few from being with her sister for a long time. "Fidelity and loyalty in a relationship, despite separation or other challenges. Reminders of your favorite memories or time together with another person."

"And growing affection between two people." Popola smiles at her sister and they share a fist bump. "There's more, but that's basically the gist of it."

9S blinks slowly, absorbing the information. The two had recited it as if they memorized it off the Wikipedia. (The Wikipedia... always had answers. It was amazing.) "Um." He points to the lone Lily. "A-and this?"

"Purity and sympathy." Popola sighs and stares at the lonely flower. "I wonder why they decided to leave this alone? They look a lot more pretty with others."

9S bit his lip, an urge stirring inside him. He was always the type to follow his urges, much to Operator 21O's ire. But, did he even know how to care for life?

What even is life? Was 9S alive in those wastelands? Was 2B or Operator 21O? What about the Commander? Or _any_ Android for that matter.

Were Androids alive? Did their deaths have meaning? Is death even death without life in the first place?

What about the machines? Adam and Eve. Did he and 2B even kill them if they never had life?

But what if they did?

And if they didn't— did that mean that... in that place, life didn't exist? No no no— that can't be right. There was the earth, the animals, the fishes that weren't machines.

Where? Where is the boundary?

"I think I'll buy these flowers." Ventuna's voice— so easily mistaken for Operator 21O's— was strong and piercing like a flashlight in the dark. There was a tone in her voice that carried her usual light but had a certain steely feel that made it sound as if she was _determined_. Like she made up her mind and she wasn't backing down.

But why? What was she fighting? 9S looks closer, his excellent vision searching. What was in her gaze? What was he looking at?

It was at that moment that Ventuna's eyes met his and 9S knew. From the small creases on her forehead to the unwavering stare of her's— eyelids blinking the minimum. 9S knew and he didn't know what to feel about it. Anger? Frustration? Gratitude? Relief?

Ventuna gives a wink and 9S pushes down the ugly emotions. He lets it swirl and mix and mingle with one another. Poison meeting poison and acid threatening to spew out his mouth. Human emotions are terrifying. They're amplified and cause 9S' fingers to twitch and his throat burn.

So he returns the wink with a weak grin and Ventuna goes off, carrying the two flowers, saying something like _'I'm going to find this lily some friends. They're much more beautiful with others!'_ Did that action mean something?

Ventuna comes back with a smile that emits victory and 9S' stomach drops. Without hesitation or embarrassment, she shows the vase and pot in her arms with confidence. The blues and whites in the pot are the exact same as the one he saw before she left, however, the lily is no longer by its lonesome and has other lilies around it. It was so easy to just assume that they were supposed to be together from the start.

9S gingerly takes the vase and stares at the flowers he had initially mistaken to be Lunar Tears. It takes a surprisingly a large amount of effort to open his mouth.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome!" Ventuna chirps.

–

9S waves Devola and Popola goodbye. He strains to keep his smile on his face as they wave back.

9S remembers a time in which he loved social interaction. He remembers wanting this. But emotional fatigue weighs him down, making his bones feel like lead. It was so much easier as an Android. As a human, each emotion is turned up all the way to eleven. It physically hurts how taxing emotions can be.

(9S thought he felt enough when 2B died. He thought he finally lost it when all that filled his head was destruction. After all, nothing had meaning at that point.)

"Let's head home," Ventuna says and 9S simply nods. She takes the lead and he follows, gaze attached to the floor. "You seem... kind of down." She whispers, but he hears it and he knows that she knew it.

9S shrugs, eyes peeling itself off the concrete. He stares ahead. "Simply tired." He says dismissively. "Anyway," He starts, quickly changing the conversation. Did that come off as suspicious? "A linguist and a bioengineer?"

Ventuna chuckles. "That's what they want to be! As you already know, Popola is passionate about biology. Or like, anything about plants to be honest. Devola is interested in languages, which is really surprising!" She splutters for a second. "N-not that I thought anything bad about her!"

9S didn't think she did so he shrugged once more. It didn't seem like Ventuna knew any more than she already told him so he decided to just store that information for now. Perhaps update it whenever he felt was necessary. Or he could just update his databanks when he got home. Knowledge is valuable, after all. "You study Tourism." He says and Ventuna nods, seemingly having understood his train of thought.

"We're dorm mates." She explains and when 9S raises an eyebrow, she says, "Yeah. All three of us."

"Mothe—" 9S coughs. "Mum never told me about Devola and Popola." Mother was usually the one who is more updated with Ventuna's life and is always excited to share with the rest of the family.

"My old dorm mates moved or something," Ventuna says. "I don't really know the details, but Devola and Popola ended staying in my dorm."

"And you didn't tell mum?"

Ventuna shrugs. "Didn't think it was important enough to share with her."

9S mock hums in thought. "That's weird." For added effect, he rests his hand on his chin, posture curious.

"Why?"

"'Cuz mum asked me to make tiny surveillance cameras to keep an eye on you at all times." 9S lies. It comes out smooth and blunt. The lie is so unbelievable that it's obviously a joke, but have a speckle of possibility (9S certainly has the capabilities of bugging Ventuna's room.)

Ventuna chokes. "W-what—"

"Just kidding." He says and gets punched in the arm. He laughs in response. 9S' hands hold the vase tighter and he avoids looking at the flowers that Ventuna was holding.

"You're terrible," Ventuna complains but has a smile on her face. She opens the door to the (their) house. She looks in and breathes. "Home sweet home." Her voice is filled with nostalgia. She stopped by with Devola and Popola earlier to pick him up suddenly, but they didn't linger. She must've missed this place.

9S slips off his shoes, insides cold at the thought of Ventuna feeling at home. It wasn't a bad thing. Certainly not. He was glad to have her back, but— he looks at her and notices her form relaxing and how she immersed herself in the atmosphere, safe and carefree— he couldn't help but feel envious. What was home to him? The bunker? The ruined city?

No. Definitely not.

He... appreciated the house that Ventuna grew up and where Nines— Septem— was accepted into, but he can't help but feel like an intruder.

But he smiles and enters the living room, trailing after Ventuna who spreads her arms open to greet her parents, grins on their faces. The warmth continues spreading, wrapping itself into everything it could in the setting.

But 9S watches, smile frozen on his face and that same ice encase him and his sickening emotions until it's nothing but rock solid and unmoving. It can't be melted and 9S will make sure it never will be.

These ugly feelings can stay with him until the day he breathes his last. Again.

–

The unfortunate thing about having Ventuna around during her term break is that 9S can't investigate. His entire being shakes with the urge to continue his mission but he can't. Ventuna often comes into his room unannounced or make decisions for him.

So 9S sits pretty, avoid suspicion and subvert any possible attention to his... work.

Currently, his only plan was to turn in for the night. Y'know, sleep at a reasonable time like all good children do. But even that mundane task was disturbed.

9S wakes up to the sound of the door creaking open. His door wasn't particularly noisy, but 9S is an incredibly light sleeper (he had to be) so that added to the soft noise of feet walking caused his eyes to open.

Ventuna, because he knows it's her, comes in and closes the door as quietly as she could. It's at that moment that 9S decides to speak. "You don't have to try so hard, y'know." He intended to speak softly and slowly so she wouldn't get startled, but it seems like she did anyway.

Ventuna lets out an all too quiet curse and breathes in and out. "What the fu—" She pauses, "Fudge. Why are you still awake?"

"I was asleep."

Ventuna raises an eyebrow and plops herself on the edge of his bed. He doesn't make an effort to sit up, instead, he looks at her eyes, not that she would know that since it was dark. "You're still a super light sleeper?"

"I wish I wasn't." That was a half-truth. He's sometimes grateful for being aware of his surroundings despite being asleep. And other times, it was a shame. There's something alluring about unconsciousness.

"Sorry, bro," It was still so _weird_ hearing that directed towards him, "but we're going to have a sibling talk."

He didn't want to. "Okay."

Ventuna shifts and sneaks her way underneath his covers. 9S politely makes space for her. After fidgeting for a little bit, it seems like she was satisfied enough to start talking. "So."

"So." He echoes. 9S is absolutely not starting this conversation. All he wanted to do was sleep.

"Today," Ventuna says. "You were feeling down." He knew that Ventuna was stubborn, but he was honestly not feeling up to this. What time even was it?

He averts his gaze towards his digital clock by his bed. 1 am? 9S wanted to sleep, but Ventuna won't leave until she's satisfied. Okay, how should he word this? Irritably, Ventuna is quite keen on emotions. Operator 21O was the same but chose to ignore those kinds of stuff and focus on work. Clearly, Ventuna didn't feel the same way.

"I ended up thinking about something that upset me." Septem. Victoria Orphanage. Too many questions. Too many mysteries. How long must 9S continue on like this? Why was he doing this to himself? He could end it all and it wouldn't even matter so why? "So I spaced out a bit." Lunar Tears. Androids.

"Okay..." Ventuna says slowly. "But that doesn't explain why you... uh." She seems hesitant? Then why even start this whole thing? "You didn't seem to like the flowers... was I wrong?" _Was I wrong into thinking that you wanted them?_

Ah. He got it now.

"You weren't wrong," 9S says, "and... I guess it was sweet of you for buying it for me." He won't lie— he had wanted those flowers. He got attached. It wasn't like him, but it might have been a part of him that wanted _something_. He didn't know what that something was.

"Then why?"

Why indeed. Was it because he resented Ventuna looking through him? He didn't want anyone to pity him? But why? Didn't he want to be understood? Didn't he crave for someone to care for him, even if it was about the smallest things?

Ugly. He truly was an ugly person and those ugly emotions tasted like bile.

There's no other choice but to lie. 9S opened his mouth, tone set neutral and casual. "I was embarrassed." He says. "Because you bought it for me. In front of your friends. I could've done it myself."

Ventuna's lips pursed.

"I'm sorry." And that was the truth. He was sorry for feeling anger. He was sorry for feeling something unjustifiable. 9S can't take this organ— heart. It's too much for him. If only he could reach in and just rip it out.

Perhaps then he could regain control over himself.

"Haha... I guess this is my fault." Ventuna chuckles to herself. "Completely forgot all about guys and their manly pride." She slowly reached her hand out into the darkness. 9S took her hand in his. "I was just trying to be a good big sister."

9S stays silent. A big sister.

"I- uh..." It was weird hearing her stutter. "You're my lil bro." She says as if that explained everything. "Sometimes you concern me, Nines. A-and when you called me..."

A stupid move on his part. He really shouldn't have done that. "I believe you're overthinking." _Stay away_. "I'm sorry for worrying you, but I'm seriously fine."

"You've been strangely distant, Nines," Ventuna says and the statement makes the poison in his heart leave a bitter taste in his mouth. "You can tell me what's happening."

But the thing was that he _couldn't_. 9S imagines Nines and Ventuna. Best friends. Adopted little brother with his not-related-by-blood sister. What kind of expression would that sister, who loved her brother so much, make when she found out that the person in front of her wasn't even her brother?

What would she do? What would she say? Too many risks and, unfortunately, 9S didn't trust her enough to even have a fleeting thought of telling her. He couldn't and he won't.

"... Maybe next time."

It seems like his words agitated her. Ventuna sat up quicker than 9S expected, the bed creaking in protest. He could feel his heart thumping in reaction, startled. "Why?" Her voice was barely above a whisper but held so much anguish in it. Did he hear a small voice crack? Why is she so... so-

Ventuna makes a move to turn on his lamp and 9S sits up even faster than Ventuna did. He grabs her wrist and when she reached out with her other hand, he took hold of that one too. "...What are you doing, Nines?" She asks, peering in his direction through her hair. Her eyes don't meet his and that's only because of the lack of light, which is exactly why 9S didn't want her to turn on his lamp.

If she saw him, who knows what she will see. Even 9S can't see himself in his reflection. Who was that person? So alien and familiar...

"If you turn on the lights, mum and dad will find out that we're awake." It was a mundane problem to Ventuna, but hopefully, this poor excuse will be enough if Ventuna considers his age. How old was he again? Wasn't he young? Ah... thirteen? Was that age young enough for his pathetic excuse?

Ventuna was silent for a while, body unmoving before she slowly lowered her arms and 9S let's go off her arms at the same pace, ready to snatch back her wrists if she tries anything.

They end up sitting on the bed, quiet.

He... He just used Ventuna's good nature for his own benefit...

9S stares at Ventuna, but it was as if she completely shielded herself away from him. All 9S sees is a young woman, pale blonde hair covering parts of her face as she stared down at the sheets she couldn't really see. He couldn't read her.

With Ventuna being oddly silent and her posture straight, it was easy to convince himself that the person in front of him was Operator 21O. It was that encouragement that drove him into wrapping his arms around her. 9S closed his eyes shut and breathed. Operator 21O was the one he was holding and it was Operator 21O who, almost shyly, returned the hug.

 _I'm sorry,_ he wants to say to her. _I couldn't save you. I couldn't help you. I wanted to get closer to you and I wanted you to trust me a little bit more._

9S felt sadness, but a smile appeared on his face. In hindsight, pretending Ventuna was Operator 21O was not good— that he knew. 9S squeezes Operator 21O a little tighter before letting her go. Operator 21O disappears and 9S stares into Ventuna's face, arms resting on her shoulders.

"Thank you." He says. A message that carried much more weight than it might've seemed at first glance.

But Ventuna knew. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Nines." She removed his hands from her shoulders to just holding them in her hands. "But... really, you can talk to me, y'know?"

He won't. This trust and concern weren't for him, but for Septem. "Maybe someday, 'Tuna."

Ventuna smiles and playfully punches his arm, like old times. "Not a fish." She huffs before standing. "Get some more sleep, bro. Mum and dad are probably planning something big for tomorrow." She shrugs. "Maybe a road trip."

9S settles back down into his bed, the warm covers easing him into relaxing. "Yeah." He couldn't help the yawn that escaped him. "G'night, 'Tuna."

Ventuna pats him on the head and leaves.

–

Ventuna was correct, not that 9S had any doubts, but it was as if she predicted the future.

"Rise and shine!" Father yells, bursting into his room.

"Let me die." 9S couldn't help but groan out. Death sounded very pleasing right now. He had wanted to die for quite some time, but at this very moment, it was a heavenly concept.

9S closed his eyes and when he opened them, he was out of his sleeping clothes and ready for a road trip. "Oh my god." He couldn't help but mutter. How did that happen?

"And done!" Mother exclaims, a joyous smile on her face as she placed a hat on his head.

"Did you... uh..." 9S asks, unable to keep the question in but incapable of finishing that thought. Did she just... undress him? Was that a mother thing?

"I'm a mother." She says as if she read his mind. Was that also a mother thing? "You don't need to feel embarrassed."

"Um." He starts. "I know you helped Ventuna when she was still quite small, but she's a _girl_." He scrunches up his nose.

Mother's smile seems to have changed. "I used to have a son." The way she said it was soft and filled with melancholy.

9S... didn't know what to say.

Mother pats his head and 9S is reminded of Ventuna last night. "I loved him— still do." She then crouched down and held his hands. "He's gone, but that's okay." Mother's smile turned bright. "After all, I have another son!"

9S froze. He blinked at her slowly, processing her words. He is quite an intelligent Android and held impressive data processing software, but at that moment, it felt as if he was having a malfunction.

After a peck on the cheek, Mother, who was still holding his hands, led him out the room.

9S caught sight of the flowers in his room before the door shut behind him.

–

When 9S finally came back to himself, he was seated in the car. He looked down at the seatbelt that was secured around him before glancing at Ventuna beside him. "What?" He whispers.

Ventuna perks up and tears her eyes away from the window. "Welcome back to reality." She grins.

"Did I blackout or something?" Was there something wrong with him today?

Ventuna shakes her head. "You kinda just... uh, froze?" She makes a weird gesture. "So dad just kinda settled you there. You've been out for like," She glances at her phone, "30 minutes?"

"... oh." 30 minutes? What the heck? As much as he would love pondering and speculating about his possible health issue, 9S couldn't find the strength in him to do so. So, instead, he looks to his right and just looks at the passing landscape. Oh, a sheep.

"Erm..." Ventuna says. "Are you feeling alright, Nines? Did I deprived you of sleep?"

9S shakes his head, turning his head away from the window. He was starting to get dizzy. "No." He says although he isn't completely sure whether it was true or not. Sleep was quite alluring at the moment. He shuffles a bit, trying to get into a more comfortable position while fighting the incoming headache due to him moving. "I think I'll sleep, though." His eyes are already closed.

"Goodnight, Nines," Ventuna mutters and 9S is gone.

–

_"Nines..." 2B whispers his nickname and blood accompanied it._

_There was a storm inside him. His insides growing hot and his hands start to shake. There's gibberish coming out his mouth and he mourns and mourns._

_And then everything disappears._

_It's just him and 2B._

_Her arms are stretched out towards him, showing off her bloodied chest where more and more precious liquid escapes. It puddles down her heels. "Nines." She says again in the same whisper. It plays again and again in his head as if his head was a broken record, only able to relay a single sound._

_Everything about her was perfect._

_9S steps forward into the nothingness, entranced. 2B was perfect— stunning. The way the crimson would contrast her monochrome attire and make her bright blue eyes look more precious than it already did, the way she lost enough blood causing her voice to become nothing but a hush, unintentionally conveying words like a secret._

_The gaping wound showing her insides— the things that constructed 2B. Drenched in that same red that dyed her dress._

_9S stands before her, close enough to reach out and caress her hair but far enough not to get splutters of blood on his person. He breathes in that metallic scent. 2B always smelt like iron, like the weapons she holds, but this..._

_"Nines." She says again but doesn't move a single inch. It was like she was a statue, but she kept on saying his nickname._

_Nines... It was a name he always wanted her to call him. It was to be friendly and feel less like... business partners? You could call them that, he supposed. They were only paired up for work. But 9S craved friendship. He craved bonds. 9S couldn't remember how many years passed without having that._

_But then there was 2B. She was cold and serious. Much like everyone else. But he tried— he tried so hard— and now here she is, calling him Nines._

_However, there was something wrong. The nickname felt foreign. More than anything, 9S wanted her to call his name— his real name. It was an odd wish. Didn't everyone already call him 9S?_

_So why did he feel as if it had been years since he heard anyone call his name?_

–

The car comes to a stop and 9S opens his eyes slowly, blinking back his focus. It was times like this that he really hated being a light sleeper.

"Oh, you're awake," Mother says once she opened his door. A soothing smile was on her face. Why was mother always smiling? "You poor thing. If only we knew you were sick sooner." She ran her fingers through his hair. 9S refuses to admit that it felt nice.

He closed his eyes and lets out a half-hearted hum. Not having to look at anything was a relief. He was just so dizzy. Whenever he tried to focus on something, his head would pound. Especially so when he was looking at something move.

"Is he alright?" 9S could hear father's uncharacteristic soft voice.

Mother replies, "He should be okay." She removed her hand from his hair and 9S mentally bid it goodbye. "But he's going to have to rest."

"Isn't this the first time he's gotten sick?" Ventuna's voice piped in. "Unless he got sick while I was away."

"Nope," Father responds. "Never got sick till now."

It was funny. Their voices were slowly fading away, becoming indistinguishable.

"He doesn't look okay..." Someone said. 9S is convinced that he's underwater or his audio receiving hardware had malfunctioned.

"-pital... Unsure... Condition..."

 

What are they talking about now? 9S nuzzles into the headrest, blocking out the noise. Every breath he took pained him and his head felt too heavy to support.

The voices dim and soon enough, silence wraps its beautiful arms around him. 9S stays in the car while his family does whatever they're doing outside. He takes a shuddering breath and lets out a shaky exhale. The air around him was too cold. His head is attacking him mercilessly— quite similar to Eve's ferocious attacks while he and 2B were fighting him.

Ignoring the ache in his chest, 9S squeezes his closed eyes and tries to force himself into sleep.

–

It was a pain, it really was. Both physically and mentally. 9S honestly lost track of everything, but it seems as if there was a restaurant? Weren't they in the middle of nowhere? However, once he— with some difficulty— stood up and got out of the car, he saw that they were actually in a humble town. When did they get here?

9S kept his eyes forward, choosing to analyze his surroundings later. If he moved his head too much, he feels like he would throw up. It's bad enough that the sun's natural light was blinding him. Quietly, he follows his family into the restaurant that they parked outside of. Every step was unstable and the fear of losing balance was always present, but he refused to make such insecurities known.

9S patted himself on the back when he walked through the doors without any assistance but cringed when the artificial light greeted him, the air conditioning causing his skin to crawl. He's making good progress and he's pretty sure no one has yet to notice that he was basically dragging himself to their table.

Sitting never felt as rewarding before. A sigh escapes 9S' mouth and then he slumps, body too tired to continue keeping up his posture. He curls into himself and shields his eyes away from the light.

"Dad," Ventuna speaks and it's _too loud_. "I really don't think Nines is okay." Ever the worry wart.

"He'll feel better once he's eaten." Mother says. 9S looks up a bit to see her holding a menu. "He hasn't eaten anything yet." Now that she mentioned it, 9S supposed she was correct. One moment he was on his bed and the next he was in the car.

9S' stomach lurches at the thought of food. Despite what mother said, he didn't want to eat. What is going on? 9S never gotten sick before and it was certainly... an experience he would never want to feel ever again.

"Maybe we should get soup for him," Dad recommends. "Something warm for him and not solid. Poor boy might throw up."

Oh no, he really doesn't feel good. Slow enough not to trigger another headache, 9S stood up from his chair. He noticed with ire that his legs felt incredibly weak. "Bathroom." He croaks out before darting away from the table.

His head was pulsing when he glanced up to look at the bathroom sign. With grace that he only obtained through battle, he swung open the door and rushed towards a stall, focus immediately on the toilet. He could feel the bile in his throat even after throwing up.

9S pants, trying to catch his breath. Why the heck was he so tired? 9S presses his palms onto his eyes, feeling the heat that was trapped behind it. His breathing was uneven and it was reminiscent of when he had a— What was it called?— a heart attack?

No, wait it was a panic attack. His information was getting disorganized in his head. That never happened.

9S stood up, flushed the toilet and left the stall. He made a beeline to the sinks. Thankfully, the bathroom lights were dimmed and he vaguely smelt jasmine in the air. Jasmine? How did he know what that smell like?

He washed his hands and stared at his reflection. Was he always so pale? His eyes held the same red that appeared whenever he stayed up for too long. 9S rubs his eyes and when he opened them again, a boy was beside him.

"Nines." The boy says and 9S blinks. Who was this person? "Uh. Fancy meeting you here?" Why did that sound like a question? Was that a question he was supposed to answer?

"Yeah." And that's all he said. He didn't want to ask this person who he was because it seemed as if this boy knew who 9S was. It would be embarrassing to just say: _sorry, who are you again?_

"Eve is somewhere around here." The boy says, obviously trying to strike up a conversation. Was he trying not to be awkward?

"Eve?" 9S mutters, but the boy clearly heard him. He rubs his eyes again and blinks multiple times. His vision was still blurry.

"Yeah, but he probably went on ahead." He shrugs.

"Ah." What was he supposed to say now? His head felt like cotton was stuffed inside it. It was hard to think. "So how're you and Eve?"

The boy fidgets in place, looking uncomfortable. His eyes dart all over the place before settling back to 9S, his lips pursed. "Wait- I think I should be asking _you_ that question." He says. "How are you, Nines?"

Nines? Was that him? 9S shakes his head. Of course, that was him. 9S didn't know whether the question was deflected back at him as a defensive move or if he was genuinely concerned. So, 9S shrugs. "I've been better."

"Wha— Oh hi Eve." The boy turns to his left and 9S follows suit. Out of politeness, 9S waves in the general direction the boy was speaking. "I knew it!" He exclaims and 9S jumps. What? "You're _not_ okay!"

"Huh?"

"Eve is not here." The boy says. "You're so out of it, you didn't even realize!" Why on earth did he have to raise his voice? 9S winces, headache coming back in full force.

"Adam, you're too loud." Wait. Who was Adam? "Shush."

Adam(?) sighs. "Oh, thank goodness you know who I am." He puffs out his chest. "It would be problematic if you didn't know!"

"Of course." 9S lies. "Why would you think that way?"

"If you can't even _see_ that Eve is not here, how can I trust you to even see _me_ right now?" Adam was always irritatingly smart.

9S rubs his eyes once more. Squinting, he sees Adam's white hair and ruby eyes. "Your roots." He says. "They're growing." He points at the patch of black on the top of his head.

Adam's eyes widen and his gaze lands on the mirror. He leans forward, inspecting. "Holy shit, you're right."

"Eve wouldn't like you swearing."

"Let's keep it between us," Adam says with a wink. His expression then turns into a frown. "This sucks. I'm gonna have to bleach it again."

"Why do you insist on having your hair white?" 9S couldn't help but ask, slowly regaining control over himself once more.

"1) I stand out." Adam runs his fingers through his long hair. "2) Your hair is white." Nines probably didn't want it to be white, though. But to 9S, it was just the usual.

"And that matters because..?"

"Because we're a trio!" Adam proudly exclaims, but 9S' insides go cold. It felt as if a part of him just died right there. "You- uh, don't look happy." Was he imagining the way Adam seemed to shrink?

"What's going on, Adam?" 9S asks, his voice was deeper than he intended. This is his chance. It's been nearly 2 weeks. He hasn't seen the twins for so _long._

Adam bites his lip before steeling his expression. 9S' hand twitches at the familiar expression. Adam probably didn't mean to look cold and calculating, but he did. It was too alike to Machine Adam. 9S didn't like it. "We got into trouble," Adam says and 9S forced his feet to stay still. Don't attack. "Big trouble."

9S stays silent, looking straight into Adam's eyes.

"We- uh." Adam falters, brave facade fading into nothing and that show of weakness eases 9S' tense muscles. He liked it better when Adam didn't look like the.. other Adam. Adam looks around. "Not here."

9S holds in the retort that sat on the top of his tongue. _Isn't that weirdly dismissive? Doesn't that sound too alike to what I said 2 weeks ago?_

It looks as if Adam knew, however. "I promise this time." He says and gives an unsure grin. "Bread pact?" His fist is held out in front of him.

9S sighs and fit bump him. "Bread pact."

Adam's grin grows stronger. "Here." He hands him a... calling card? "Call when you get home." 9S takes it in his hands. " _Only_ when you're at home and you're alone."

Suspicious. "Alright."

Adam gently slaps his cheeks and sticks his tongue out. "Get better soon, loser."

9S kicks his shins. "Tell Eve I said hi, nerd."

And then Adam leaves. 9S doesn't see him for the rest of the day.

–

9S had eaten a little bit of his soup and then gave up. Mother seemed satisfied enough, however, so he was let off the hook.

Currently, they are back in the car. "Let's go somewhere else now!" Ventuna chirps.

"Nope," Father says, a smile on his face. "It's better if we go home now. By the time we arrive, it'll be well into the night and your little brother needs to rest."

Ventuna pouts and mutters something like _'all we did was take photos'_ but in the end just stayed silent. Everyone knew that the only way to make Ventuna obediently follow was to ignite her big sister instincts.

Mother turns around to face him from the front. "Sweetheart," She places a warm hand on his knee. "If you're still not feeling well tomorrow, you're allowed to have a day off."

"Okay," 9S says. He can do that. He then faces Ventuna. "It's okay, Ven, we can do something together tomorrow."

"If you're feeling well, okay?" Ventuna says. "If not then I'm forcing you to stay in bed."

Father groans in the background. "Ugh. I gotta go back to work."

Mother laughs. "Do your best."

With a smile on his face, 9S closed his eyes once more. He doesn't hurt as much as he did at first— Mother was right. Eating made him feel a lot better— but the threat of a headache was still present. So, he listens to the soft rumbling of the engine and the light banter of Father and Mother until his body relaxes and he's slumped against his seat.

But he doesn't fall asleep.

Instead, 9S thinks. Adam, Eve, whatever secret their hiding, his sudden blank in memories, feeling sick and so much more.

Septem, Victoria Orphanage, the mystery that he _knows_ exists but doesn't have evidence to prove...

Why was Septem called Nines when his name obviously represented the number seven? For 9S' case, it was simple. He had a nine in his name, thus the nickname Nines was created. It also helped that he had an 'S' in his name.

But Septem meant seven.

9S opens his eyes and pulls out the calling card from his pocket. It was a foolish move since reading while the car was moving made him feel slightly dizzy, but a thought had occurred to him.

What if there was a secret message?

Adam had the personality and intelligence to pull it off. Plus, 9S didn't take a good look at it when he was given the calling card.

Huh? There was no other information but some numbers. 9S turns the calling card. Yeah, other than those numbers, there wasn't anything else on the card. No name nor any signs of identification.

Was he supposed to call this number? Adam did say something along those lines. But, there was something weird about this series of numbers. Was... this truly meant to be used to call? 9S had a suspicion that said otherwise. He would confirm it, but that would require an outside source. Is there someone he can trust with this? Truth was, there wasn't. He could... diverge the truth from what he could say. But then the question of who pops up. Who would easily take his word and not doubt it? Who would not be suspicious _at all?_

Ah. 9S knew. He's going to have to be quick once they got home since Father is most likely going to bed immediately. The man is quite dedicated to his job and refuses to be late. Father was the easiest choice. He was straightforward and probably too trusting— even more so than the rest of the family. A heart of gold that always desired to help but was far too naive when it came to his family. Full of optimism that wanted to believe.

Perfect.

9S could feel his skin prickle at the thought of using such a nice man, but... it wasn't that bad, right? All 9S is going to do is ask Father to confirm something without father knowing the why and how. And that would be it. Nothing more.

Would a human be thinking this way? Would a human purposefully use a person's admirable traits for their own purposes? 9S respected humans and how much _more_ they had than Androids did, but 9S couldn't help but think that if Father _didn't_ have all those things, he wouldn't be able to... deceive him.

 _A weakness_ , his brain whispers.

Perhaps he was getting ahead of himself. He shook his head and closed his eyes once more. Breathe. Humans weren't perfect (Ventuna couldn't cook without burning _something_ , Mother was allergic to peanuts, Father snores) and neither were Androids (but they could cook, they don't have allergies and they don't snore.)

9S respected humans.

(But they were so _gullible_.)

He... he already knows that their weaknesses make their strengths shine even more. He said that to himself.

(What strengths? It's their strengths that were _also_ their weaknesses. Look at _father_ — he's basically a fool.)

 _9S_ was a fool as well. He chose to believe back then. He chose to believe that company would come and chose to hope that someday everything would pay out.

(But it didn't. And now he knew better. He learned— just like his programming demanded of him— and knew now that hope was a ridiculous concept.)

Humans learn. He's seen it. Eve knew not to eat a whole chili after trying once. Adam learned that glue did not taste good.

(If humans learn, why does history repeat itself? Androids were superi—)

9S jerked, arm violently slamming against his seat. Pain traveled through him and was processed in his head. 9S lavished in the stimulation. It hurt, but the pain allowed his thoughts to clear and drag him into the present. It threw him off his train of thought and what a relief it was to be away from his own thoughts.

"Ohmygod," Ventuna breathed out. "What the heck, Nines?" Her shoulders were tense and her eyes were wide. Did he cause that? "One moment you were deadly still and the next you just- just- _moved_!"

"He lives!" Father roared and 9S shrinks when he hears his voice. He was ashamed.

"Not funny!" Ventuna cried. "I got surprised!"

"You get startled so easily." Mother sighs with a small smile. "I thought you were going to outgrow it but it seems like it's just what makes you, you."

"Um... Am I supposed to feel flattered?" Ventuna scratched her head. "Thank you?" She then turns to him, a finger pointing at herself. "Does that make me charming?"

9S shrugs. "I guess." He answers flippantly. Personally, he wouldn't really find someone who gets startled as _charming_. Everyone around him in YorHa was unshakable and while it made him feel isolated, that was his normal. Seeing a person like Ventuna— who jumped at nearly everything— was something 9S didn't know how to deal with. Charming? He doesn't know. Not really.

But 2B wasn't like that and he found _her_ charming, so maybe Ventuna wasn't.

Speaking of charm... "Do you have a boyfriend yet?" 9S asks. All the girls in his school would talk about their boyfriends really loudly. 9S has read about such relationships before. They were quite important in human society. So, since it was very valued, 9S wished that Ventuna would get one someday.

Ventuna squeaks and shifts further away from him, hands hiding her flushed face. Did he say something wrong?

"As expected of Nines!" Father laughs. "Always the one to get straight to the point!" Not that 9S intended it to be that way, but it seems like, without him realizing, he's created such a reputation. He wonders whether he was seen the same way back at school?

"Ah," Mother exclaims. "Home sweet home." She says, quite alike to how Ventuna said it yesterday.

9S peers out the window and instantly recognizes their neighborhood. Alright. 9S feels like throwing up (again) from the nerves.

9S takes deep breaths as the car slowly makes its way to the garage. He envisions YorHa and how coldly efficient they were. He remembers the emotionless look in their eyes and how stoic they remained as their blades cut through whatever stood in their way.

He thinks of the way they would speak monotonously as they placed their hands on their chest and said the words: _For Mankind._

Then he looks back to 2B and how she played him so easily. She hardly had to do a thing as she hid her true self away from him. So many untruths and yet there are little lies.

9S opened his door once the car came to a stop. Ice seems to have frozen his burning emotions and settled it into numbness. His steps were soft and the way he held himself was reminiscent of the way he steeled himself before sprinting through the open world.

Perhaps it was because of that, that Father reacted the way he did. All 9S did was tap him on the shoulder and when Father turned to face him, there were no signs of recognition in his eyes until a millisecond later. "Oh, Nines." He says, a sheepish grin on his face as he scratched his cheek. "For some reason, I thought it was someone else, which doesn't make sense since it's just us and the girls."

That was a perfect prompt for a joke and light-hearted banter, but instead, 9S puts a smile on his face and dismissed what Father just said. "Dad," He says slow and deliberately. He tilted his head to showcase curiosity. "May I ask you a question?"

Just like 9S expected, Father beams. "What's bothering you, son?" Father's earnest eyes felt like they were seeing through 9S— as if they saw all the ugly thoughts in him yet chose to ignore it all.

But that was ridiculous. He was just being anxious. There was no way that Father would know anything. Father was an idiot so—

9S dug his nails into his palms. Stop. Stop thinking that way. Just do what he must and get it over with. "This," He says and it's suddenly hard to put on a smile. The sudden change in mood would look suspicious or concerning, so 9S rests his face neutral and light. Better that than to look like all the energy was sucked out of him. 9S holds up the calling card. "This isn't a phone number, is it?"

Father picks up the card and a spike of anxiety attacks 9S. He curls his fists tighter and it hurt. "Hm..." Father puts a hand underneath his chin. "I don't think so. At least, not a number for this country."

So he was correct.

"Whats this even for? Where'd you get it?" Ah, these are the questions he was afraid of. But that was also why he chose Father in the first place. Mother and Ventuna could be too sharp.

"I don't know what it is," 9S confesses. "My friend from school just gave it to me and I'm guessing we're playing a game or something." An untruth, but not a lie. This could be considered a game and perhaps it was in Adam's perspective. "It's a little bit one-sided though."

Father laughs. "Ah, kids." He says with nostalgia. He then pats 9S on the head. "Well, good luck with that. You're a smart kid so you'll beat 'em."

9S says nothing and just nods along. He takes the calling card back and makes a move to go back to his room. "Thanks." He mutters, keeping his head lowered. He doesn't think he can look at Father's eyes.

"G'night!" Father exclaims. "Don't stay up late or else mum is gonna scold ya. You're still recovering after all!"

"Be more like you?" 9S asks, peering at him through his bangs.

"Yeah! Be more like me!"

"I'm pretty sure mothe- mum wouldn't like me to grow that." He points to Father's round stomach.

"Hey!" Father yelled with a hint of laughter in his voice, but by then 9S had his back towards him and was going up the stairs. 9S couldn't even find the strength in him to smile one last time.

–

9S stares at the numbers. It _could_ be an international number, but would Adam really do something like that? Honestly, 9S wouldn't put Adam past _anything_ , he was wild like that.

9S turns his lamp on. Would something happen if 9S shone a bright light onto it? After looking at it for a while, 9S decided that nothing would happen. He sighs and turns off the lamp. What on earth was he supposed to do? What if Adam used something that 9S had no knowledge of? He doesn't know what Adam knows. Irritably, Adam _loved_ to hide stuff from 9S. There was a high chance that Adam had done something similar now.

_"I promise this time."_

9S wasn't going to put faith in their so-called "Bread pact," but Adam wasn't the type to break promises. Yet another admirable trait that could easily become a weakness. But for 9S right now, it was a blessing. Okay, he's going to... believe in Adam and hope that his words were genuine.

A part of him flinches at the thought of being betrayed— of everything being _fake_. Again. If it were to happen again, would he be able to take that? An overused plot twist, 9S thought dryly. But it was a plot twist that he would fall for again and again.

9S shook his head, concentration going back to the card in his hands. Assuming that Adam truly wished for 9S to figure this out, that means the answer was within his databanks somewhere.

9S stuck his tongue out. Alright. All he has to do is remember. He wishes he could just dive into his memories, but humans don't have that ability. What a pain.

Is there anything about this that stands out or looks odd? ... Nothing really—

Wait. 9S stands up from his chair, eyes wide but gaze never leaving the card. The length of the numbers... Could these possibly be coordinates? It was a wild guess from just simply looking at the card, but still, 9S sat back in his chair with a loud sound and opened Nines' laptop. Coordinates! He could feel the _adrenaline_. If they were truly coordinates, then this will be easy for 9S. YorHa occasionally used coordinates and 9S held an interest for them.

He entered the numbers— the first series of numbers in the X-axis and the next in the Y-axis— and the screen showed a location.

"I can't believe it," 9S whispers to himself, a huge grin on his face. "Adam, you asshat. You gave me _coordinates_." He could feel his nerves jumping all over the place— he was excited. So many mysteries and 9S was getting closer. Perhaps Adam and Eve's business has nothing to do with Septem and Victoria Orphanage, but it was still an accomplishment— a step forward.

Unable to hold back a squeal, 9S jumped. "Yes!" He shouts. "Just watch me, Adam! I'll solve your stupid game!" And then he'll get his answers. 9S isn't going to lie, he was concerned for the twins and their disappearance has left him hurt.

_"Call when you get home."_

Was he supposed to go to this location _now_? How far was it? 9S stares. If 9S wasn't wrong (and he shouldn't be) it would take half an hour to get there by foot. Thirty minutes, huh? It was currently 11:47 pm. Chewing on his lip, 9S ponders. He was certainly capable of going, but there were many uncertainties.

Would Adam even be there? What would transpire and what time would he be back? He can't be gone for too long or else someone might find out he was gone. It was especially risky due to Ventuna being around. She might sneak into his room again and tell Mother and Father about his disappearance. Then how would he even get himself out of that situation?

When 9S last snuck out, it was easy. The building was close by— a ten-minute walk— and he didn't have to worry about anyone checking up on him. He also knew that he wasn't going to take long and would be back quickly.

With this, 9S was unsure. The location was a park, from what 9S could see, but it was in the part of town that 9S wasn't familiar with. 9S noticed with interest that the park was quite a distance from Adam and Eve's house and their school. Was that done purposefully? But why? Adam and Eve haven't been attending school and they haven't been home either. 9S knows that for a fact— he visited their house and was met with silence. He even went inside, using the key he knew they kept underneath a rug but didn't see a single soul.

The twins' parents were always away overseas for work-related business, so it was just the two of them. 9S remembers seeing their parents before when the twins and himself were younger. That was before their careers got chaotic and they had to leave the country often, but by then the twins were older and capable, so their parents left without worries.

They were nice people, 9S thought to himself. If they knew that their children have been ditching school and not returning home, how would they react?

9S looks at the screen. He was tired. Sure, he could walk to the location fine, but a part of him was just _tired_. Falling into unconsciousness, not having to think, not having to move... That was what he wanted to do. However, he wasn't sure whether this was his one and only chance or not.

"2B," He whispers, combing through his hair with his fingers. "What on earth should I do?" Well, honestly, 9S already knew what 2B would do. 2B was always the type to do what was necessary. He knew that 2B prioritizes her duties above all else.

Even him. 2B chose her role as an E unit over 9S.

9S stands up once again and turns off Nines' laptop after transferring the coordinates on his phone. He's decided— he's going. First things first, he has to prepare. Who knows what's going to occur, but nonetheless 9S is going to be prepared.

Grabbing his backpack, 9S peers inside. Most of the things inside were for school. His pencil case, some books, papers, small folders and so on and so forth. "Alright." He says before dumping everything outside. He doesn't think he has any need for them.

9S scourges around his room for items that would be useful to him. Flashlight, band-aids, an extra shirt, some gloves, a scarf, his spare house key... Also, his crafting knife. 9S vows to only use it for emergencies.

Next, he leaves his room. Majority of the family should be in their beds, but just in case, 9S goes out wearing his pajamas. Can't look like he's going out of the house.

"Oh, Nines," Ventuna says, in her own pajamas. She... had some weird white thing on her face and had her hair tied up. "What's up?" In her hand was her phone.

Unable to hold himself back, 9S asks, "What's that on your face?" He points at her.

"You haven't seen me wear this yet?" Ventuna questions, an elegant eyebrow raised.

"Nope."

"This is a face mask," Ventuna replies with a smile. She turns to the kettle for a brief moment before looking back at him. Was she making a drink for herself? "They're used to make your skin nice."

9S doesn't think he understood. In all honesty, skincare baffled him. It was probably because Androids didn't have to worry about their skin, seeing as it was artificial. "Okay." He says, walking closer to the kitchen. "So, what're you doing? Aren't you supposed to be asleep?"

Ventuna shrugs. "I'll go to sleep eventually. Right now, I'm talking to some friends." She raises the phone in her hand. "Also, I'm making tea."

"Ah, I see." 9S nods, looking for his water bottle.

"How about you, Nines?" Ventuna asks, turning off the kettle once it made a loud, high pitched sound. She pours the hot water into a mug that held a tea bag in it. "You're supposed to be resting. I thought you'd be the first one asleep, honestly."

Yikes. Does that mean Ventuna wouldn't have entered his room if he went out? He blew his own cover. But he can fix this— he already had something in mind anyway. "Was gonna go to sleep," 9S says. "But I figured it was a good idea to have water by my side." Just when he said that he found his water bottle and went to fill it up. Hopefully, with this, Ventuna would think that 9S intended to be comfortable— he desperately hoped she got that. If she did, her big sister instincts would, yet again, be used against her and no one would enter his room until he came back.

Ventuna nods, eyes on her phone while her other hand held onto her mug. "So I'm guessing you don't want any tea?"

9S shakes his head, even though Ventuna wouldn't have been able to see it, and says, "No thanks. I might end up feeling more sick." He closes the bottle which was filled to the brim with water.

Ventuna ruffles his hair and starts to leave the kitchen. "G'night bro. Get well soon. You deserve all the sleep you can get." Yes!

"Goodnight." He replies, hiding his inner delight and waits until he doesn't hear the soft sounds of her footsteps before he opens the food cabinet and grabbed as much as he could carry. He then dashed back to his room.

Back in his bedroom, 9S breathes a sigh of relief. He just had to run into Ventuna! Well, Mother would've been the worst possible outcome, but Ventuna knew him well. He doesn't know whether his act was convincing or whether she was simply distracted by her phone, but she didn't call him out on his lie.

"I got this." It was mostly for encouragement— to hype himself up. 9S moves toward his backpack on his bed and stuffed the food and the water inside it. Okay, he should be good.

Now the final step was to get into gear. He's most definitely going to need something warm, but comfortable. A long-sleeved shirt, his sweatpants, his jacket with a hoodie, and wooly socks. As an addition, he grabbed his hat as well. 9S puts 'Pod 042' in his pocket and turns off the lights in his room. And then he waits. 9S can't leave yet until the entire household is asleep and now he knows that Ventuna intends to stay up for a little while.

9S holds onto his phone. 12:07 am was displayed on the screen. Too early. He can't leave yet. He's decided— he's going to go at 1:45 am.

And so 9S waits.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time signals that it's time to go.   
> 9S doesn't know what to expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, sorry for the late update. Life is tough, y'know? And this chapter was... difficult to write. Idk, I don't think I'm happy with it but y'all have waited for too long so here. I couldn't finish this chapter off for some odd reason, so I was going to just publish half of it. However, when I went back to work on it, I managed to complete it! So here you go– 11K of words!

**1:45 am**

9S closed his door as softly as a gentle hush and took a deep breath to steel his nerves. There was no guarantee that everyone was asleep, so 9S must be as stealthy as he could be. Gosh, he hopes he doesn't trip.

Humans weren't made of light materials, annoyingly, so they all held quite some weight and 9S was no different. Thankfully, however, Nines' body was alike to his own in physical appearance, meaning Nines was small and light compared to most. But 9S' body was basically weightless compared to Nines'. 9S thought back with nostalgia to the way he used to move his body like he was flying through the air. He really wanted that back, just for a little bit. Especially now when he felt like he was dragging his feet and having to put more effort into moving than usual.

Regarding physical capabilities, 9S thought Android bodies were best.

Shaking his head, 9S focused on what was in front of him. It was dark in the house, but 9S managed fine. He's memorized the layout from how often he's been around the house so he knew which parts would creak and which wouldn't. Half a step forward and then step 47 degrees east. Sidestep and then leap a little to land perfectly on the carpet that had an annoying stray thread.

Mechanically and efficiently. It was kind of relaxing doing something so routine. Wash and repeat. Follow the order step by step.

Hah. Step.

Finally, 9S made it to the front doors, head feeling heavy. The way Nines' family does it, they have all the shoes stationed by the door, although 9S preferred having his school shoes in his room. 9S pulled out his sneakers, the lightest and most comfortable ones he owned. They were perfect for running on. It was sorta hard to believe that 9S used to run wearing something akin to boots. They weren't like 2B's heels but still. 9S doesn't think he can do that now without feeling tired after a few seconds. Or possibly falling. Or worse.

Once his sneakers were secured on his feet, 9S grabbed his flashlight from his bag and held it in the hand that wasn't holding his phone. "Okay." He whispers, the only sound in the night. He rubs his tired eyes. "I swear, Adam. This better be worth it." And with a single push, 9S steps into the cold air.

Once outside and the door locked, 9S runs as far as he could from the house to avoid association. The chill of the night slapped him in the face, but 9S couldn't help but laugh a little. Holy crap, he was tired. His mind didn't feel as quick or aware as it usually did and his eyes would fall every once in a while without his notice. What the heck was he doing? Going out and most likely going to run into _some sort of trouble_ without feeling rested—

He's an idiot. But, he's on the way so he might as well go through with it.

The street lights were on, so 9S didn't think he needed to use the flashlight just yet. However, holding the flashlight made him feel a little bit safer. He may not be using it now (it would draw attention) but when the time comes, at least he'll have a light.

The walk itself is honestly quite a bore. Repeating scenery— the street lights, the pavement, the road, the occasional rubbish bin along with a bench that would appear sometimes. 9S huffs. It was a considerably cold night. How unlucky. The season was spring and spring could _never_ decide what temperature it wanted.

9S looks down at his phone. He's going to have to take a right in 100 meters. He looks up. Ah, there's the turn. Just then, the device in his hand vibrates.

A text. From Adam.

Biting his lip, 9S unlocks his phone and opens up his messages. Could it perhaps be a hint, in case 9S didn't figure out the numbers were coordinates? 9S scoffs quietly to himself.

_We're here_

So his decision was correct. Looks like 9S was supposed to go to the location immediately. 9S noticed that this was the first text he received from them for a long time. With that thought, 9S closed his messages, refusing to reply. He was still salty.

Adam is just gonna have to wait till he gets there. Besides, it's just the twins— because 9S knows they are hardly ever without each other—they can deal with 9S being a little late. He turns the corner.

The soft sounds of his sneakers against the sideways were his only companion. Sometimes 9S would sniffle and it would add to the too-little-noise. There weren't even any cars out. 9S looks up from the ground and sees the building he snuck into not too long ago. "Fancy seeing you here." He says dryly. With deafening silence as his only friend, it was far too alike to his times as an Android doing recon missions. Talking to himself, speaking to inanimate objects as if they could understand him...

(He was up there, watching a machine try to... revive (?) it's supposed, big brother. 9S stares on, bored.

_"Doesn't matter how much oil you give him, little guy. You can't make a machine your brother."_ )

And likewise, 9S can't make anyone _his_ family either. Frowning at the sobering thought, 9S pulls out his earphones that he always kept in his right bag pocket. Might as well listen to music.

Music was an amusing thing. 9S always heard music when he would be sent down to earth from the bunker. Machines loved singing. It was... interesting to see Machine lifeforms _sing_ when singing was a human action. Machines sing but Androids— who were shaped and created in Mankind's image— _didn't_. 9S secretly had the desire to sing, just to try it out, but Operator 21O would _know_. Somehow.

... 9S was alone right now. He could try it out right now if he wanted to.

Oh my gosh, he could _sing_ and no one would nag him!

Okay— 9S opens his mouth... and closes it. How does singing work? "Ahhhh," 9S tests and then frowns. That wasn't how the Machines did it. They did it so... _gracefully_ and always managed to sync their voices with the other Machines. 9S wanted that.

Oh no. He's _jealous_. Maybe he should've asked Pascal for voice lessons... or maybe he shouldn't. He can only begin to imagine 2B's neutral face of disappointment.

... Pascal. 9S was empty and he knew that Pascal was as well. The Pascal he knew— so kind, so giving— was gone the moment he called the children's corpses "junk." There was no happiness in that world and seeing those children cores only proved that 9S was right— there is no purpose.

9S comes to a stop, right in front of the entrance of a park. The streets around him were unfamiliar. He stops the navigation on his phone and pockets his earphones that weren't playing anything. He forgot to play the music. 9S turns on his flashlight (it was quite dark in the park.) Adam and Eve should be somewhere around here...

Gulping, 9S steps foot in the park. He really hopes Adam doesn't try to scare him. He opens up his messages and types:

_I'm here. Where are you guys?_

Almost immediately, he got a response.

_Go to the back!!!! Eve is on top of the monkey bars!!!_

Eve is on the monkey bars again? He always did that when they were in their school playground as kids. Honestly, 9S doesn't think Eve ever stopped, it's just that their current school doesn't have a playground. They're in high school, 9S wishes Eve would just let go of his obsession.

_We got ya sum weed ;))))_

What the heck.

_Should've gotten me orange juice, you prick._

_It's, uh, orange flavored?_

9S thinks he's going to ignore that message. Instead of replying, he continues walking further into the park. Oh, he sees a slide. Waving his flashlight around, 9S cups his free hand around his mouth and says loudly, but not yelling, "Heeeeey, it's your buddy."

"Hoot hoot," Adam says as he crawls out of a bush. A smirk was on his face. "Welcome, buddy." It normally would have been jarring to returning to their usual silliness, considering that they haven't seen each other in a while, but it was habit that allowed 9S to feel at ease and go with the familiar flow.

9S decided that he's going straight to the point. He walks up to Adam, who was sprawled on the ground and looks down at him, disgust on his features. "Orange flavored weed."

Adam shrugs, unaffected. "At least I tried." He then sprang up to his feet with a little yell. "Just so you know, we don't actually have drugs." He pats his jeans from the dirt.

"I know," 9S says, easily following Adam when the older teen starts walking. "So where's Eve?" Just as he asked that he saw a white-haired boy on top of a tall object. "Oh wait never mind."

Adam claps, a dramatically proud look on his face. "Oh, Eve. You're a blessing."

Eve had a ridiculous grin on his face, no doubt enjoying himself. Seeing his vibrant smile, 9S couldn't help but give a smile of his own, albeit considerably smaller than Eve's. 9S hadn't seen Eve in a while and he honestly missed the silent twin.

Eve preens at Adam's praise and stands up even taller on the monkey bars. He bows twice before jumping off with a perfect landing. Athletic people, 9S thought sourly. He used to be able to do that _easily_. Eve waves his hand in greeting.

"Hello back to you, Eve." 9S sighs. These twins just adore their theatrics. 9S decided to turn off the flashlight. There was a lamppost nearby.

"So," Adam speaks up and 9S idly notes that they were all standing together like they used to. Such routine was as simple as breathing but 9S was struck with how familiar and new it was. Can a little time away truly make such a difference? "I can see that you have become accustomed to sneaking out." He says with a wink, smug smirk still on his face.

Oh, he had _no_ idea. "I guess." 9S shrugs.

"Here," Adam holds up what 9S thinks is a can. "For all your hard work." He hands it to him.

Holy crap— "Orange juice." 9S whispers. He tears his eyes away from the can to Adam and Eve. "Thanks." And he really means it. He's tired and he was just awarded orange juice!

Adam rolls his eyes and Eve breathes out a chuckle. 9S opens the can just as Adam starts to speak again. "Anyway, it's about time we relocate." It was so quiet that 9S nearly missed it.

With a lingering taste of orange in his mouth, 9S raises an eyebrow. "Relocate? Was this place not—"

"Nope!" Adam proudly exclaims, but the volume wasn't as loud as 9S expected. "We ain't gonna hang here. Besides," He winks _again_. "The others are waiting for us." Adam was telling him valuable information, but his body language and tone didn't match with the serious topic. Was that purposely done?

Eyebrows furrowed, 9S' mouth was open to ask another question, but he caught sight of Eve signing something. It was a lot more meek and unnoticeable than his usual posture. Was he trying not to be obvious?

'We came here to pick you up.' Eve explains. 'Dangerous for you to go to the location by yourself.'

Dangerous?

"Eve is absolutely correct," Adam says in a hushed voice and 9S knows for sure now that they're trying to keep something a secret. Adam moves closer and whispers in his ear— 9S can feel the warm breath on his ear and it's weird. Humans were so warm— "There might be people watching us. Someone might have followed you here." He was talking about _possibilities_. He was being cautious. "So from here, we're going to take a route that will lose anyone watching."

9S nods. What else could he do? He wasn't in charge and the best choice he had right now was to just shut up and follow Adam's lead.

"Now, when I lean back, pretend as if I told a really good joke," Adam instructs and it's all serious. A voice so similar to the person he once fought. So similar to the Machine who crucified him.

And then Adam's presence beside him was gone and a plastic smile is on both their faces. 9S snorts while Adam guffaws. Eve pouts, seemingly already knew what was happening.

'Are you teasing me right in front of me?' Eve asks hand gestures obvious and big.

"Yup~" Adam lies, his voice loud and clear. "Nothing personal, my dear brother." He slings his arm around Eve's shoulders.

9S drinks his juice so that he would have an excuse not to say anything. He doesn't know how to contribute to this scene except smiling as if nothing was wrong.

Eve continues pouting and turns swiftly towards the swings.

"Aw~" Adam croons. "My little brother is being all pouty~" Adam was quick to follow after his brother, standing beside the swing Eve was seated on. It was darker there. "You can't seriously be mad at me."

Eve shot him a bemused look.

9S giggles and sits on the other swing that was right beside Eve. "Look what you've done, Adam." He then takes a long sip of is juice, nerves prickling. It was a miracle how he managed to control his voice from stuttering.

"Eve is just too sensitive!" A total lie. Eve was as strong as steel. "My jokes are just too much for him."

9S bites his lip. Logically, the responsibility of saying something witty was on him. Adam's sentence is set up _perfectly_ for that kind of reply. A comeback. Eve was playing the angry role who seemed intent on ignoring Adam. 9S knows how conversations work, how they flow. 9S was the one who prompted Adam to say that, so naturally, 9S would be the one to reply. In this scenario, 9S was the neutral side in this petty fight while being slightly on Eve's team.

Easy, he's seen this many times on TV. This is simple, he tells himself but chugs down his drink nervously nonetheless.

Lying was fine and Adam seemed more than capable of improvisation. 9S can only hope that he will be able to catch up. "That's funny coming from you." He starts, the can in his hands feeling a lot more empty than it did in the beginning. "If I remember correctly, the one who cried over not having melon bread was you." Not true. Never happened. Adam _always_ got his bread. Somehow.

Gracefully and all-too-believable, Adam's eyes widen and he got flustered. "H-hey!" Was that a voice crack he heard? How is Adam so good at this? "I was hungry!"

"You're always hungry!" That was easy to reply to. _C'mon, 9S,_ he thinks to himself. _You can do this. All you gotta do is do some friendly banter like always._

Adam huffs then slumped against the stable metal of the swing set. "You guys suck."

Eve kicks some dirt.

"Hey, you got dirt on my pants!" They were already soiled from Adam crawling all over the place, but the way Adam said it and the way he molded his facial expression made it seem as if his jeans were brand new and spotless. "That's just playing _dirty_."

"Oh my god." The words coming out 9S' mouth was genuine. "What the heck, Adam." Normally, 9S had nothing against puns. In fact, he loved them! They were so clever and were great humor, but right now, where they're all acting and pretending, Adam just _found_ that opportunity and took it.

9S didn't know whether to be proud or just. Just. Not.

Adam stuck his tongue out without skipping a beat. He was a natural.

Eve pinched his brother's cheek. Hard. "Ow ow ow ow ow—!!" Adam cries out in pain and 9S knows for sure that it was not a lie. 9S winces in sympathy. In fact, 9S even rubbed his own cheek, almost as if he could feel Adam's pain.

Adam rests a hand on his red cheek, tears on the corners of his eyes. Yikes. "Terrible," Adam says and the pain in his voice was true. But then, 9S catches Adam tapping his fingers against the side of his face. The tapping wasn't obvious and was angled so that only 9S could have seen it. Adam's face was bored and frustrated by Eve's attack, but his finger continued tapping away.

Then it hits 9S. Morse code.

9S has seen information on Morse code in Nines' laptop. It was a thing that Nines was studying about. Out of curiosity, 9S learned it as well. Sure, he heard of Morse code before, but YorHa didn't use it because there was no point.

(There is a point right now, though. And Adam had tapped on his cheek so nonchalantly and so _idiotically_.)

9S didn't have enough interest back then to read about it in the bunker. But then, _Nines_ held an interest in it so, in hopes of understanding him more, 9S studied Morse code.

(Not everyone knows Morse code, he knows, but what if the people after them did? He expected better of Adam to not just simply, out in the open, send a code his way—)

Adam's message was...

_Later. Just a little bit more._

Adam was probably going to do something to throw off whoever was watching (if there even is someone) and didn't want 9S to be brought along his lie. 9S appreciated the thought, but it sort of irritates 9S how incapable he looks in Adam's eyes.

"Well," Adam stands up straight. "I guess it's about time to get straight to the point." Ah. 9S understands.

9S nods the same time Eve does.

Adam situates himself in front of both Eve and 9S, plopping himself on the ground, uncaring of his jeans. When Eve raised an eyebrow, Adam replies, "Doesn't matter anymore. You ruined it."

Eve just rolled his eyes and 9S just appreciates how calculated everything is. Eve did that action on purpose to give Adam a reason to justify himself and for watchers not to be suspicious. With this, the huge tree's branches, which was long and strangely enough was reaching down towards the ground, was right behind Adam. What purpose that served, 9S didn't know.

"So," A weird grin makes its way on Adam's face. What? "Jeniffer." Who the heck is Jeniffer?

"Why do you keep calling him that?" 9S asks, eyebrows furrowed in a perfect image of irritation. "His name is _Jeff_." Might as well just roll with it. 9S chucks the empty can at Adam.

_Getting straight to the point,_ Adam had said. No doubt whatever onlooker that was around would start to think: this is it. 9S could picture it now— an anonymous, faceless person on the edge of their seat, thinking that these kids will finally give them what they want. Just the thought makes 9S have to resist the urge to giggle— partially filled with panicked adrenaline and slight hysteria.

His tired and overworking brain barely managed to keep those thoughts locked away for the sake of not exposing their lies.

"Jeniffer. Jess. Same thing." Adam shrugs and catches the can with ease. He then sets it down on the ground but not without a small glare directed at 9S. "Dude."

9S sighs, feeling his eyes dripping in exhaustion which was completely genuine. Whoever this made up person they're creating is, he's starting to feel bad for them. "You mean _Jeff_ —"

"So anyway," Adam cuts him off. "Jerry bumped into me at school today."

"Who the heck is Jerry—"

"And guess what he whispered to me!" Adam whines.

Eve shrugs. 'Did he threaten you?' He punches his palm. 'I can take care of him.'

"Even worse!" Adam exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. "He told me that Andrea was cheating on me!"

Eve blinks. 'I wouldn't be surprised.' The way Eve signed that with a pitying smile made 9S snort, the action causing his body to startle slightly and 9S held in a sigh that wanted to escape. God, he was tired.

"Don't laugh!" Adam yells. "I don't want my girlfriend to cheat on me!"

"But Eve is right!" 9S chuckles through the insecurity that floods him. Did he sound casual enough? "Andrea would totally ditch you for any dude at school!" He drops his voice to a whisper which wasn't really a whisper. It was quite loud, but it was mostly done for dramatic effect. "Especially Zack~" His voice was cheerful and his expression was light but 9S wasn't blind to the cold sweat collecting underneath his collar.

"Then why would she waste 2 months with me if she didn't even like me?!"

"To copy your homework, duh." 9S rolls his eyes. He fights back a yawn and he's pretty sure it made his face look weird for a tiny bit before he schooled his features.

Adam's jaw dropped and the look in his eyes were those of a widowed man. Wow. "Wait—" Adam frowns. "Then why didn't she hook up with _you_?"

9S blinks caught off guard. "Me?" He points a finger at himself.

"Yeah!" Adam says. " _You're_ the top student in the entire school!"

"Ah- well—" 9S blushes. He knows it's all pretend, but being praise left him flustered. "I- erm... I don't have charisma." He just said whatever first came to mind.

Adam nods sagely. "Well, you're not wrong."

"Aren't you supposed to comfort me?" 9S deadpans.

Adam shrugs and Eve pretends to whistle. From there, they just talk and talk about things that aren't even real. They laughed and teased each other as if they were in some sort of reality TV show. Just the thought of someone watching his every moment made his skin crawl. But, 9S lies and lies and lies.

(Shouldn't lies come naturally to him? He was a breathing and living lie, was he not? Why then did the words rolling off his tongue cause him to—

2B lied, he reminds himself. She lied and so can he.)

He spouts out rubbish until Adam calls for a bathroom break. 9S didn't even need to decipher Adam's next code. This was it.

While carrying on their charade— more quietly this time— they slowly shift towards the darker parts of the park until all that remained around them was darkness. 9S saw a portable toilet stall. How convenient. Once hidden away, Adam pushed away some leaves from a normal looking bush. "Get in." He mutters. Eve immediately dives in and Adam looks 9S straight in the eyes— or well, _tried_ to. It was too dark for him to see his eyes. "Just follow Eve's lead. I'll come in after you."

9S nods despite the ever-growing lump in his throat. The feeling of suspicion and fear grabbing him by his neck, whispering— _**don't do it.**_ A suffocating fog that forces itself in between his lungs, expanding, expanding and expanding. _ **Don't do it. Who knows what awaits you.**_

Out of anxiety, he removes his hat and shoves it into his bag, feeling his fingers jitter and his heart stutter. He looks at the small passage's entrance and instantly, his feet felt as heavy as Operator 21O's body looked when it fell it to the ground. A thud that resounded throughout his body, sensors and artificial skin quivering as if it were real. A churning feeling that had made him want to throw up—

He doesn't want to go down there. He doesn't want to go _down_ in general.

9S blinks through the images in his head, forcing himself to come back to reality. Feeling his entire awareness slowly seep back into his body allowed him to gradually refamiliarise himself with its heaviness. 9S breathes and for a moment, hates the way it feels. The rise of his chest and the expansion of his lung, so insufficient but so necessary because if 9S were to stop breathing, it'll be game over before he could reach the end credits. He can feel himself on the verge of... something. And so, he forces himself not to think (for once, please, don't think. Stop thinking all the dang time it's so noisy–) and tightens his bag straps with the hands that refuse to stop shaking. 

Shaking. Shaking like 9S' hands were as he fought. Against the virus, against the multiple copies of 2B, against A2–

And before 9S could continue drowning in the heaviness settled in his head, he throws himself to his knees, crouching down to fit into the passage and relished— just for a moment— how the rough ground felt against his _all-too-real_ skin (that didn't even belong to him) and how the pain sent his brain signal after signal that something was scraped.

It was grounding.

Right. Breathe. He has to continue breathing, despite his current distaste for it. He was still so acutely aware of how the muscles around his chest area contracted and relaxed even as he was pressed down on the terrain, but that was fine, wasn't it? It didn't matter how small the passage and how short his breathing would be at intervals, because he could handle this. The path was linear, all he had to do was continue forward. The ruined Earth where he came from was an open world, free for exploration, and this small area wasn't anything like it, so he'll be fine, right? 

Exactly. So, he observes and focuses.

The passage, from what 9S could see, wasn't fancy. It was a simple path carved out hidden in the bushes. 9S had to get down low and wiggle his way around. His clothes must be filthy, but 9S refused to slow down or stop to observe his surroundings. His heart was beating wildly and anxiety clung onto him like a plague. So, 9S focuses on Eve who was in front of him and blocks all his negativity and insecurities out.

Breathe. He drags himself through the dirt; his shoulder blades, biceps, and neck were starting to get sore. "Eve." He whispers. "How much longer?" Nines' body was physically weak and that was just how it was.

9S was met with silence. Right. Eve was mute. Curses. Deciding to look behind him for a brief moment, 9S realizes that Adam was still outside. Was that alright? He looks forward again and sees Eve spare a hand to wave at him from up front. 9S smiles. "Thanks." Eve's hand returns to crawling and that was the end of that.

It was dark. So dark. 9S could only see tidbits of his surroundings. He flinches whenever he got too close to a bush and made a noise. How is Eve navigating himself through this? The passage wasn't straightforward, despite being linear— there were turns and...

Wait. Are they descending? 9S could feel it. They were starting to descend. The path was forming into a slope and 9S desperately clung to the ground with his fingers to avoid falling on his face. His arms were starting to tire. But, looking at Eve, he doesn't look bothered at all. 9S couldn't hear any labored breaths other than his own. Eve continued his pace without slowing or speeding up. Luckily for 9S, Eve didn't seem interested in going fast, but rather, a nice steady pace. Whether that was for his benefit or for caution's sake, 9S doesn't know.

They go lower and lower. The slope seems to have gotten steeper and 9S is starting to worry that he's going to pull a muscle or something. Where is Adam? Risking another look, 9S sees nothing. Why isn't he here yet? Is he doing more precautions?

So many precautions... Who on earth could be after them? There wasn't a complete certainty that they were being watched in the first place and yet they probably spent an hour or two just "catching up" with each other's lives. 9S breathes a sigh of relief when the slope comes to an end and the path continues on, flat.

Where are they even going? 9S didn't ask any questions to be safe, but he was curious. He wasn't familiar with this part of town so honestly, he can't draw any good theories. Adam mentioned something about there being others...

More people? 9S is honestly afraid of finding out who they are. It could be people that he "knows" or it could just be strangers. Either way, both options held ricks. 9S has to remind himself that although Adam and Eve are involving him in their business and probably see him as a comrade, 9S has his own mission. He really does care about them and certainly doesn't see him as his enemies (hah, they _used_ to be) that doesn't quite mean that 9S can rely on them or the people they call friends.

9S' mission is a solo mission until he dies.

Eve eventually comes to a stop in front of him. 9S' heart rate speeds up again. Slowly, but surely, Eve fumbles around with the bushes, probably trying to find the opening. Where could they be? 9S shuffles, looking back once more. Still nothing. Adam isn't there. Perhaps he's on his way now?

Finally, streaks of light shine into the darkness and 9S blinks to adjust his eyes. The light wasn't blinding, it was quite dim honestly, but it was lighter than the dark he was in for possibly 24 minutes. 9S catches a glimpse of a grin on Eve's face before the teen is wiggling out of the passage, 9S following suit. Eve, who already had his feet planted on the grass, extended a helping hand towards him. 9S took it gratefully. "Thanks." He mutters and tries dusting off his clothes before sighing. Yeah. He can't fix that anymore.

'You Okay?' Eve signs and 9S wipes the dirt on his cheek, as he holds in a sigh. He probably smeared it or something.

"As okay as I'll ever be, I guess," 9S replies dryly. "I'm exhausted." He looks around himself. They seem to be in a field full of grass. It was quite a huge field. 9S didn't see any buildings close by. Were they at the back of the park? If 9S remembers correctly, the playground was at the edge of the town and from then on, there was more greenery. Unlike where 9S lives, this part of town was more provincial, he supposes.

Eve smiles and pats him on the back. Good Ol' Eve.

"Thanks." 9S replies. He then looks back at the passage, exit open. "Do we wait for Adam?"

Surprisingly, Eve shakes his head. 'Brother will be fine.'

"You sure?" 9S couldn't help but be skeptical.

Eve nods, a confident smile on his face. 'We'll meet brother at the location. C'mon! I can't wait till you see everyone!' Eve then proceeded to grab 9S' hand, leading him through the field.

It was an interesting feeling, running (he was _tired_ ) through tall, slightly wet grass. It was mostly due to the moisture in the air, seeing as its cold. Were his shoes muddy from the trek on the way? Perhaps not, the passage was dry, but that could just be because the passage was underneath layers and layers of bushes. Now, though, with the soft ground and dampness in the air, they might be. 

9S looks up at the open sky. What time was it? 9S doesn't know and a part of him doesn't want to know. Hours could have gone by or days or even months and 9S still wouldn't want to go back home. At that very moment, with Eve tugging on his arm and his feet stomping against the tall grass while the stars were out there, looking at him like he was looking at them...

For a moment, he could just forget and submit himself to the moment. No thinking about any possible issues he might– will– come across. Just breathing in the cool atmosphere and allowing the light air to breeze through his body. It felt oddly freeing as if he could fly at any moment right now. Perhaps it was just because of his previous predicament, though.

And his legs were getting very, very tired. "Eve," He pants. Oh no, he's panting. "Eve, please- slow. Down."

Eve, sweet as he is, did slow down and then came to a stop. Oh, how tempting it is to just plop himself on the ground and never get back up. 'Sorry.' Eve signs with a sheepish grin. 'Got excited.'

9S purses his lips. He can't say he feels the same. 9S notices with ire that Eve still stood tall while 9S had a poor posture that screamed exhaustion. "We still have time," He doesn't know whether that was true or not. "Let's... not rush."

Eve beams and nods. Still holding 9S' hand, Eve walks through the field rather than running. 9S sighs in relief. As they walk, 9S starts to see something in the distance. Was that... a church? "Is that it?"

Eve nods, a huge grin on his face. A church in the middle of nowhere? How curious. 9S saw the way he would fidget as if holding himself back from just running to the building. It was kind that Eve was willing to stick by 9S' side. "Go on ahead," 9S says, peeling off Eve's hand. "I'll be there soon."

However, yet again, Eve shakes his head, frown in place.

"Why?" 9S asks.

'Brother trusts me.' He signs. 'Take care of you.' There was something in Eve's eyes that reminded 9S of Ventuna. A worry wart.

And suddenly, 9S wants to hear Eve's voice. It was a weird desire, but this boy in front of him deserved better. So selfless and kind, but no voice to convey the good words he wants to say. Of course, sign language works perfectly well, but 9S wishes he had the power to grant Eve his voice back.

Eve, without warning, held onto his hand again and started bringing him closer to the church again. 9S took that as a sign to shut up and just walk.

9S squeezes Eve's hand. He got a squeeze back.

—

When 9S stood in front of the church, he noticed quite a few things that he didn't initially. First, the church was _old_ and run down. It looked like it was centuries old? But 9S could be wrong.

Eve bursts through the door and 9S wince at the loud noise. Was that okay? This wasn't their property, right? And once open, 9S looks inside and—

His insides go cold before becoming so impossibly hot. The ice that froze all the poison inside him— the only thing keeping him from acting on his anger— was melting away and evaporating into thin air. He knew he shouldn't, but 9S grabbed hold of those vile emotions and allowed it to boil. Hotter and hotter.

"Took y'all long enough," Her voice was deep and had a bite to it. 9S hardly ever heard her speak, but he _knew_ that voice. He could never forget. This girl who was currently sitting on a barrel was burned into his memory. It was scorching and 9S could feel himself burning. His ears were roaring and his eyes felt dry from the lack of blinking. He was drowning in flames— he just knew it. Every part of him was too warm. There was a tightening in his chest that _begged_ and _pleaded_ 9S to take action.

He wanted to destroy her.

A cheeky grin was on her face and 9S _hated_ it. Her eyes weren't like how they used to be. They were young and full of life, unlike to how blank and glassy they were back then. "Wassup?" A2 asks, body lax and posture carefree. 9S holds back a scream. 9S holds back a sob. He holds his wrists in a death grip and nearly cries back the ice to cool him down and seal away the intense burning inside him. He bites his lip _hard_ to prevent himself from letting out any noise.

Eve, oh so oblivious and joyful, rushes up to _her_ and pulls her into an embrace. A2 awkwardly pats his back and 9S resists a laugh at her pitiful attempt at returning the affection. He wants to mock her. He wants to annihilate her.

He wants to grab her irritating face and smash it against the wall.

"Hello," He says instead because he knows how social interactions go (unlike A2.) 9S is the outsider and naturally, must introduce himself. "I'm Nines." He tries his best to not make the malice in him known. 9S could never imagine having to _smile_ at _A2_ – but here he was.

A2's mouth opens and closes like a fish. 9S couldn't help but notice that 'fish' suited A2 way more than it did with Ventuna. Perhaps he shouldn't tease Ventuna about that anymore. "I— What?" A2 looked so confused. What an idiot. Can't she see that he just introduced himself? Must he really assist her with something as simple as that?

Plastic smile still in place, 9S speaks again. "And you are?" It was hard to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but he managed somehow.

A2 still looked baffled and 9S fought to keep irritation off his features. Is she retarded? 9S knows that some humans were born with some deficiencies, and honestly if A2 were one of those people, that would mean 9S had to be patient with her even if he didn't want to. His parents taught him better. A2 then looks at Eve, who was right beside her, and then back at 9S. "What?"

Eve tapped A2 on the shoulder, causing her to look in his direction once more. 'Brother will explain.' He signs. What was there to explain? Was A2 surprised to see someone other than the twins here?

Just when he was about to open his mouth once more, the doors opened with a bang. 9S turned and saw Adam enter the rundown church, arms spread open wide and smug smirk on his face. "Sorry to keep you all waiting," He says and flips his hair back. "I'm sure you've missed me all."

Is it right for 9S to be irritated at Adam when he was the one who was willing to let 9S in on their business? 9S couldn't help it. He was in the same room as _A2_. He didn't sign up for this! 9S should've just chosen to stay home and sleep. He was tired and possibly still slightly sick. His clothes were dirty and he felt icky and he _couldn't even take revenge at that very moment—_

Eve jumps towards Adam, grin back in place. After a quick hug, Eve pushes Adam further into the building.

"Hey," Adam starts, turning to 9S' direction but then he shrunk back. "Uh. You don't look so happy."

9S bites his lip before forcing a weathered smile. "Sorry if I look grumpy. Didn't mean to." He rubs his neck. "I guess I'm just tired." He was _exhausted._

"Make the scary look go away," Adam says, waving his hand. "Shoo shoo, scary aura!"

A laugh finds its way out 9S' mouth. "It's gone, it's gone!"

"Well, then," Adam states, pushing a barrel towards 9S. "Take a seat!"

Eve rolls a barrel and places it beside the one that Adam was holding. He taps his brother on the shoulder. 'For you.' For a moment, 9S ponders why they don't just use the church seats, before realizing that they were too far away from the very front where they're all gathered. 

"Oh, Eve!" Adam cries. "I'm so lucky to have a brother like you!" He truly was, 9S thought to himself. "But where are you going to sit?"

"He can have my barrel," A2 speaks up, breaking 9S' renewed mood. Why can't she just shut up forever? "The other barrel is for Olethe." Oh great, more people.

Eve shakes his head. 'I'm fine.'

"Nah." A2 shrugs and her long hair flows from the movement. Her damned hair that she let scatter on 2B's body. "I've been sitting down for a while." Did she want to seem like a Good Samaritan? 

With a shy smile, Eve accepts the barrel that was given to him and sat down. Adam followed suit and 9S decided that he should as well. A2 just stood, leaning against a wall. Good.

Annoyingly, it was A2 who spoke next. She just loved opening her mouth. "So, What the fuck is going on?" Vulgar language as well. It suits her terrible personality.

Adam held up his hands. "Woah, woah!" He exclaims. "No swearing zone! We have a child! And by a child I mean Nines."

9S rolls his eyes but said nothing. Nines' family wasn't fond of foul language and 9S didn't want Nines to seem like a bad child, so he refused to swear.

(Just in case 9S could bring Nines back.)

A2 seemed to not care less about what Adam said. "Answers." 9S saw Eve scratch his cheek nervously in response.

Before Adam addressed A2, he looked at 9S. "Okay, I want you to promise me that you won't freak out." That should be easy enough. 9S can just freak out silently to himself.

"Okay, I guess," He says and that seems to have satisfied Adam.

"Now, Azalea." 9S tries not to roll his eyes at the name. Just because A2 had a human name, doesn't mean he's going to address her or acknowledge her that way. But he'll keep that to himself. Adam continues, " _you_ better not get mad."

"So you're saying that this will _definitely_ upset me," A2 replies smoothly. Her expression was bemused.

Adam nods. "Yup." 9S mentally patted Adam on the back.

A2 scowled before huffing, irritation still fresh on her face. "Then shoot." Oh, if 9S could, he _would_.

Adam clasps his hand together and took a deep breath. 9S honestly expected Adam to face A2, but rather, Adam turned to stare at 9S. He could also feel Eve's gaze on him. "We know you."

Was it stupid to jump to the conclusion that Adam and Eve knew that he was 9S, an Android from the future when that vague sentence could've meant _anything_? Maybe it was stupid, but 9S couldn't think through the whirlwind in his head. It was difficult to think rationally and 9S couldn't stop himself when the words came out of his mouth, so very, very quiet, "Please kill me." At that moment, nothing else felt right to say. He didn't have to go through any explanations or mysteries or other things that 9S had to seek out. He didn't have to do any of that. All that would happen with a quick stab to the heart, a loud crack of the skull or even a tight grip on his neck. No words or complicated emotions necessary.

What a bliss that would be.

"You're... shocked." There was a slight tone at the end of that statement that made it sound like a question. But Adam didn't look all that surprised as if he knew that would be how 9S reacted. But it was obvious in Adam's expression that he didn't catch a word of what 9S said.

Placing a hand on his chest, feeling his wild heart, 9S releases a quivering sigh. What the hell is he doing?

"It's _us_ , Septem." To actually _hear_ the name directed to _9S_ made his skin crawl. He wanted to scratch himself until he was raw and bleeding. He felt so wrong. So out of place. Never before did the body he was hosting feel so _alien_. He felt removed from reality, yet confined in this prison called a body. He wanted _out_. "Don't you remember who we are?" Why the heck can't Adam just _get to the bloody point already—_

"Is this a joke?" The words come out coated in venom and 9S can't find it in himself to regret it. "Just say what you have to say rather than asking me these stupid questions."

Adam actually winces and looks _pained_. 9S has no idea what Eve or A2 looked like because his full attention was on the teen in front of him. Baring his teeth and seething, 9S didn't know what they saw in him. Did it matter? Did any of this matter? Why didn't 9S just _kill himself so he wouldn't have to go through all this who cares about Septem he's probably dead and even if he did come back how would that even affect him he doesn't have any memories past the age of eight and everyone would've remembered him as the way 9S portrayed Septem—_

"We knew you. From before." Adam's voice breaks through his train of thought. "Before we met in that classroom... we knew you."

Ah. They're talking about Nines.

... _Nines._

It's always about him. 9S has to continuously play the role— wear the mask. He's sick of it. He's sick of it _all_. Where did 9S end and Septem begin? Where was the boundary? What differentiated them? Why did no one notice that 9S wasn't Septem? The only logical reason would be that their personalities were similar. But then, why did 9S feel like he was pretending to be someone else when all he had to be was _himself._

Did 9S have no real personality? Or did that personality just vanish at some point?

Or maybe 9S was just too tired and was overthinking.

Okay, so Adam and Eve knew Nines before 9S came into the picture. Nines' responsibility, but 9S' current pain in the ass. "Um," How was he supposed to reply? He's never been in a situation like this! All Androids knew each other and had impeccable memory anyway, so forgetting was just not a thing. Although, 9S thought back, maybe forgetting was a thing. 9S sent 2B's backup data to the bunker but didn't do the same for himself. That is probably the closest he'll get to 'forgetting.'

Adam chuckles. "Let's try not to be awkward." He says that but 9S could see the way he would dart his eyes somewhere else before moving back to 9S, uneasy.

"... Sorry." 9S says because the only thing he can do is apologize. "I don't... remember." Such words felt foreign on his tongue because 9S always knew– or well, he used to. 

Honestly, 9S didn't think there would be any problems because he truly didn't know this world's Adam and Eve before meeting them at school, but Adam opened his mouth again, "No, that's not right."

"What?"

"You recognized us," Adam says. Why was he so persistent? "When we first transferred— you immediately recognized us. I saw it in your eyes."

9S was about to object, but Adam was correct. He _did_ recognize the twins because it was freaking _Adam and Eve_! He can't just say "back from where I'm from, there was also another Adam and Eve! So sorry for the confusion." The only option he has is to lie, but can he do it? He wasn't too worried about Eve and A2, but Adam was a hassle.

"It's us, _Septem_ ," Adam calls out, desperation clear in his voice. "Y'know—"

"Don't call me that, please." Gosh, he couldn't _think_ if Adam kept on addressing him like that. "Look," He starts, right hand massaging his temple. "I'm really sorry, but I _don't_ remember ever meeting you before you and Eve walked up to me a few years ago." _Or at least, this world's version of you._ That was the truth from his perspective and Adam knew it from the way his body sagged and his expression turned defeated. It pained 9S, it really did, but he can't have any more complications to deal with. So, if 9S must, he will crush that false hope. "You're right, however, that I did recognize you both." At that, 9S saw _everyone_ in the room light up. Yikes. "But I don't _remember_ you. Any of you." That was the lie, but it was a small one in midst of the bouts of truth.

"Not even me?" A2 asks, her expression somber. How tempting it was to just ignore her existence.

9S shakes his head and says nothing.

"I- oh..." A2 takes a step back. "Okay." 9S revels in the silence that follows.

Eve claps to gather everyone's attention. 'That's okay!' He signs, a gigantic smile on his face.

Adam nods cheerfully. "Eve is right! Nines may not remember us, but he recognized us! Even Azalea, right Eve?" Eve copies Adam's nod in response. Was 9S too obvious? "So there's hope!" Looks like 9S couldn't crush that hope. Oh well, as long as they understand that 9S didn't have Nines' memories, that's okay.

It was really weird to see A2 beam. She was always so blank. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Okay so," Adam starts once again, taking things into his hands, "now that we know for _sure_ that Nines doesn't remember and isn't just playing dumb for some reason— I shall fill you in!" About damn time. "My name is Adam and that's my twin, Eve. He's mute. And that's Azalea Un Due! You used to know her."

A2 waves with a smile and 9S hesitantly wave back.

"We're all from Victoria Orphanage." What? What-what-what what-what— "We were all the best of friends!" Adam exclaims.

_Adam_ and _Eve_ were from Victoria Orphanage? But he's seen their parents! They are absolutely related!

"Ever since the orphanage closed down, we gather here often," A2 says. "Used to have annual meetings or something like that, but they were honestly just an excuse to catch up with each other." She sighs and looks around at the large space around them. "The others... don't show up anymore. They're busy with their lives, I guess." A2 looked like a mix of irritation and sadness. "It all started ever since you stopped coming."

"I— Uh," 9S stutters. "I'm sorry." He truly was. He, yet again, destroyed something and this time, it was a friendship. Nines probably still attended before 9S came in and wrecked everything.

"It's... it's okay." A2 says. Did he need her forgiveness? No, but Nines did because, in the end, there are no consequences for 9S. All of his actions befalls on Nines' image. "I understand now that you probably didn't stop coming on purpose." She taps her head. "Do you know what happened up here?"

"I'm curious as well." Adam frowns. "We never mentioned a thing, but we were observing you. The only likely theory I could come up with was that you had amnesia or something."

"Do you remember your times in the orphanage?" It just had to be A2 who asks the most difficult question. Now, 9S has to play the role of an amnesiac unless he did something. Long-term memory loss? No, that wouldn't work. The twins would know that 9S can retain memories for a long time. He's been their friend for a few years now. Besides, wasn't long-term memory loss a gradual thing? You don't just wake up one day, develop long-term memory loss and just simultaneously lose recollection of _all_ past memories. 9S is pretty sure Nines' friends and time in the orphanage was still fresh in his mind when 9S came to this world.

Short-term memory loss? No. God knows how long Nines was in that orphanage, so even if he did somehow develop short-term memory loss, he wouldn't have forgotten the orphanage.

Was there anything else he could use as an excuse? Something... It's no good— 9S isn't too knowledgeable about things like this. If only he knew that he would be in this kind of situation, he would've researched! Honestly, why _didn't_ he know? Why did it never occur to him that someone from Nines' past would show up?

"I don't know." And that set off the bomb.

"You don't know?!" A2 shrieks and 9S couldn't stop himself from flinching. "What? Did you just _forgot_ and you never felt anything wrong?!"

Adam makes a face. "I don't know much about the brain and stuff, but is that what's suppose to happen?"

Eve shrugs.

"I'm no expert," A2 crosses her arms, face scrunched up while her eyes glared, "but that sounds like bullshit."

Adam surprisingly stays silent, still looking skeptical. He was probably unsure and didn't want to jump to conclusions. 9S too would be like that but he was pushed into a corner— he couldn't let things be the way they are.

"If you forget something, why would you feel like something was wrong when you believe nothing was there in the first place?" He says slowly, testing his words. Was he being disrespectful to the people who truly had amnesia? "It's only now since you've guys told me that I have a gap in my memory, that I realize that."

"So you've never questioned why you don't remember what life was like before you were adopted?" A2 scowls.

"I knew I was adopted," 9S replies and tries to stand his ground. Look confident. Look like you're in the right. "It wasn't like there is just nothingness... it's kind of like, it's all blurry. No distinctive memories and it all just blurs. Like mixing all the colors together until you can't remember what the colors you even used were. Or something." He pauses, taking in A2's expression. "You don't believe me."

"Like fuck, I believe you." She spat out and 9S grimaces at the swear word. Sheesh.

"I _know_ that I didn't just sleep through my life before adoption," 9S rolls his eyes. "It wasn't like that." Perhaps he could play it off as something that isn't really amnesia, but something that was affecting his memory. Like an illness or something. He doesn't know. "I know things happened, but I don't know _what_. I never questioned it before because I thought I knew, but now that I look back, I don't."

Perhaps the A2 of this world just wasn't the smartest, because her look of steel didn't wash away. Adam, however, straightened. "Oh." His eyes held so much hope. "Maybe we can make you remember!"

Eve nods cheerfully.

Tense posture slumping, A2 seemed to like that. "Sounds like a plan." She says with a lazy grin. The atmosphere around her was easy. A dramatic change from her previously threatening aura.

"I would appreciate the help." This is it. He can't go back now. "I really do want to remember. I'm sorry."

"Nah," A2 says. "It's not like you _wanted_ to forget, so it's fine."

"Does..." Adam starts but then shuts his mouth. He looks as if he regrets ever opening his mouth.

A2 raises an eyebrow. "Does what?"

Adam bites his lip, looking at Eve briefly before looking back at A2. "Er... does that mean we gotta tell Nines about the, uh, bad stuff as well?" The bad stuff? "Y'know..." Adam then trails off, unwilling to finish his sentence.

"Oh," A2 mutters. "Perhaps not _now_. I think we've overwhelmed him enough."

"I'm right here." 9S deadpans. He did _not_ want to seem weak— especially by A2. "Besides, you've got me curious," 9S saw Adam shake his head fondly while Eve chuckled silently. He checks his phone. "We have time— oh."

"Got curfew?" A2 asks.

"Oh, you have no idea!" Adam guffaws.

Glaring, 9S pockets his phone. "Gonna make a phone call." He stands up and walks to the exit.

"Who're you gonna call?" Adam asks.

"My shady connections," 9S replies, causing Adam to snort. No one says another thing as 9S shuts the doors behind him. Keeping his phone in his pocket, 9S pulls out Pod 042.

He presses the small, nearly unnoticeable button on the side of the sleek object. Pod 042 activates quietly and immediately boots a screen. Idly, 9S thinks that he should upgrade the pods. There's better technology out there than the spare parts Ventuna found all those years ago and 9S could probably create something closer to the technology in the bunker. Holograms would work great, he should use them. 9S, rather than contacting Ventuna, goes to another feature on the device that he had put in Pod 042 only.

9S didn't realize how much time has passed. It was currently 5:48 am. Surely, father was just starting his daily routine. Mother and Ventuna should still be asleep. It was a Monday morning— 9S had school. But Mother had already given 9S permission to stay home if he still didn't feel well. So, what 9S must do now is to prevent anyone from checking in on him before he gets there.

Can he do that? He wishes but knows he can't.

9S weighs the pros and cons of going home. On one hand, being caught would be the worst possible case scenario and 9S certainly doesn't want to live with the consequences. He was trying to keep up Nines' reputation, for goodness sake. On the other hand, there was information right here and 9S can't really pass on that golden opportunity. He originally came over so that he'll learn what the heck was up with the twins, but now that he knows they were involved with Nines' life and whatever happened in Victoria Orphanage, he... he needs to get as much as he can out of them. 

"2B," He whispers, holding Pod 042 close to him. "What on earth should I be doing?" A part of him acknowledges how dumb it was to be asking her for answers she can't provide. After all, she's (hopefully) dead. But she was such a dazzling figure in his life. She led the way and held such confidence that left him awestruck. Her grace, how unfazed she was, the steady beat her heels would make against the pavement. He was happy just following her from behind, letting her brilliance guide them through the earth.

Heh, look at him. 2B wouldn't even be hesitating. 

A part of him wants to break down and give up everything. A part of him wants to quit and beg someone to take his spot to just replace him so that he'll be able to be free of everything. He misses her, he doesn't want to deal with anything anymore, he's so tired–

'Stop complaining' he remembers her saying that before and the laugh that escaped him was both solemn and fond. 

9S turns his attention back to the device in his hand. The screen displays the interior of the house. Was it right for him to set up cameras? By 9S' logic, it was. Everything in the bunker was monitored, after all. But 9S remembers Ventuna complaining one day about 'privacy' and all 9S could think of was the individual rooms back in the base given to each Android. They might've belonged uniquely to any Android, but the truth was that there wasn't really anything called 'privacy.' After all, anyone could go into the room whenever they wished. 

There wasn't much to hide, so it didn't matter. 

But anyway, privacy was important, uh, for humans. So, he didn't want any of Nines' friends to see this. They might end up thinking bad of Nines when the boy didn't even do anything. 9S swipes through the different camera, trying to get a look into what's happening in the house. Judging from the images shown, 9S was right. Father was getting ready for the day while Ventuna and Mother remained in bed, blissfully asleep. Or maybe not– Mother was stirring. She's probably going to check up on whether he was well enough to go to school. 

9S curses to himself silently and since no one was around, he didn't care. He should've put up some kind of precaution or something. Heck, even a note saying "Felt better and went to school early" would've sufficed. What on earth is he going to do...

9S perks up. Wait a minute. He can totally do that! Pulling out his phone, 9S sends a message to his mother's number. The whole text was a lie, but 9S breathed a sigh of relief when he hit send. He should be alright now, right? 9S glances at Pod 042 again. Father hasn't really left the bathroom where he's freshening up so there's a low possibility of anyone calling out his lie. 

9S runs through his mental checklist. His sneakers were gone, and while they weren't school shoes that would signify that he's left the house, so he can work with that. His actual school shoes were usually kept in his room alongside his uniform, but they weren't necessarily displayed out in the open, so unless someone is searching, they won't find them. He took his school bag out of the house so that only helps support his lie, even if he left all his school supplies. But that can be worked with, he can just say that he didn't need those particular items for today. 

Okay. That should be everything. 

9S pockets his phone and Pod 042 before schooling his features and re-entering the building. He ignores the rising sun's warmth as he steps foot into the shadows of the indoors. 

"Welcome back!" Adam exclaims. "Shouldn't you be heading home?" There was something in his eyes that obviously didn't want 9S to leave but still expected him to. That goes to show how much Adam knows him. 9S is a good kid– or well, he tries to be one for Nines' sake. 9S himself was a tiny bit more... rebellious, he guesses. Well, rebellious was probably the wrong word for it, but he slacks off a fair bit. 

But that was the past. Now is... different. It's easier to just follow the rules, especially since its quite unfamiliar.

"Later, maybe," 9S says, pushing away his previous thoughts. It was wiser to focus on the present. "Uh, what were we talking about?" 

"Wait," Adam says, "You do not get to change the subject. Why aren't you going home? I thought you snuck out. I know that you're a total beginner at it, but you're not supposed to get caught. Your family is a bunch of worrywarts!"

9S refuses to look offended. "Relax," He says, instead. "I got things covered."

Before Adam could speak again, A2 cuts him off. "Just let him do what he wants," She says, carefree. "He also kind of owes us for not showing his face for so long." 

And it truly was 9S' fault. The guilt felt painful. It was his fault, but if he's going to stick to his excuse, then he's going to stay in character. "Hey, don't hold me accountable for memory loss. I couldn't help it!"

"Right, I know," She says flippantly and 9S discreetly grits his teeth together. There was just something about her that didn't sit well with him, although that could just be bad blood talking. "Anyway, it's odd for Olethe to not show up." Her eyes are focussed on the empty barrel– a free seat for a person not around. 

Adam hums in thought while Eve shrugs. 

Who was Olethe? 9S wanted to ask but he has a feeling that it'll just make everyone sad again. And while he didn't really care for A2, it was Adam and Eve that he was concerned for. He doesn't want to see their solemn faces again. He's kind of overwhelmed from all that's happened today, truthfully. 

But he stays and focusses his tired eyes on his shoes, observing the way dried up mud clung to the bottom of his sneakers. Boring and– 9S scrapes a bit of it off with his other foot– weak. It left a pathetic mark and just about everything about it was futile. He has a feeling that he's thought about this before and he resists the urge to outright laugh at that.

In the distance, he hears the sound of shuffling and soon a presence beside him is made known. A shoulder press against his own, warm and grounding and 9S closes his eyes before anyone can see how wet they've become; it wasn't hard– they were immensely heavy in the first place. He must really be out of it if he's about to cry. Was this what fatigue did? It was so different and foreign– and 9S hates it because there was something fragile in his chest that felt like it was going to break at any given time. Everything hurt and 9S wanted to lie down. So, against all common sense, he leans into that comforting warmth and feels himself slowly slumping. 

9S takes a deep breath before steadily releasing it. His eyes are kept close and his other senses are heightened. He hears birds chirping from someplace far, far away. The sun's rays make it to the windows, beaming down on them. The way the light feels against real skin is stimulating and causes a shiver to run through his spine. Such a reaction seemingly then makes his shoulders slump in what 9S assumes is relaxation. 

9S never felt anything like it and therefore allows himself to enjoy it for just a little bit longer. 

Someone must've opened a window or something because 9S starts to feel a draft. Cool, refreshing morning air greets the hairs on his arms like one would when meeting an old friend. The gentle sway of his bangs brushes against his forehead and if they were just slightly longer, they would have tickled his nose.

Maybe if 9S continues to surrender himself to these elements, the presence beside him might end up being 2B. 9S imagines himself laying down on a grass field, 2B by his side, as they take in the world around them with their blindfolds on. In such a perfect world, their weapons would be meters away from where they're positioned and their shoes would be removed for their feet to intimately feel the breeze.

2B could run her hand through his hair and 9S would caress her cheek, and then she can kill him again.

\--

9S wakes up and he's not at home. He vaguely registers the fact that the area around him is unfamiliar. He refuses to panic even if the way his heart contracts tells him the opposite. 

He's on something that barely can be considered soft, but the sheets on him are clean and slightly smell like lemons. 9S sits up and rubs his eyes, they still feel too tired. 

"Good to see you're up." A voice he doesn't recognize says and 9S begrudgingly lifts his eyes up to meet the newcomer. Her hair is startling similar to Operator 21O's hair color, but her blonde hair is held in braids. 9S would like to say that her eyes were like Ventuna's but there was something different in her gaze. Operator 21O's– and Ventuna's– eyes were sharper than hers. This girl's eye shape was round and wide, with a soft edge to it that complimented her small smile. 

"Um," She starts and it's as gentle as her face. "I-I was informed of your, uh, situation, Nines. So, erm, this is kind of awkward but I'm Olethe. You u-used to know me." 

9S doesn't say anything, because he doesn't know this person.


End file.
